You guys know how I love the generous wife emails? Well I thought I’d give a quick post for this one because I know I can get so involved, & sometimes overwhelmed, with the day to day chores & chaos that I’m quick to answer & maybe even a bit brash when P asks me things.
Posted: 12 Nov 2009 01:30 AM PST
“Our husbands need our kindness. It’s that gentle consideration and helpfulness that warms them and opens their spirit. I really think that God gave women a unique kind of grace and beauty and ability to be gentle and gracious (not that guys don’t have those things, it’s just that we have a feminine brand that guys hunger for). So the next time you talk to your husband, let gracious words fall off your tongue and the next time he needs some help, offer it with a smile and a gentle pat on the arm.”
I think I’ll try and take a breath before speaking & work on being a nice girl today.
I am all for love and kindness and respecting my husband. But some part of this just seems too "1950s we have to always be nice and obey our husbands". God forbid we are mean or don't agree. Is there a good husband's guide? Are husbands expected to let gracious words fall from their lips and pat us on the arm too? Maybe I am just in a "B" mood today, but this is just a bit gaggy. (Please take no offense, I love you and your blog and your husband's radio show). I can be respectful and kind and helpful without sounding like a Stepford wife.
I think our generation has been raised to be so strong & independent (which is wonderful) but sometimes it can be confused that if you're sweet, nice & even submissive occasionally (gasp!) that means you're weak and not being true to yourself. I know I used to feel that way. But now I think that's the sign of a truly strong woman, one who can occasionally bite her tongue. One who can put the other first.
My aunt once told me that the reason her and my uncle's marriage (which I greatly admire) has lasted so long is because they each put the other's interest first. Not only are you putting him first but he is for you as well and then guess what? Everyone's taken care of!
I'm a loud, opinionated, sometimes crazy girl and for ME it is truly a sign of love when I can not let the knee jerk reaction to be harsh & disagreeable come out but rather take a minute to change that into something nice which honestly is what he deserves.
By the way, there is a "generous husband's" email that goes out everyday for the guys too, it should ALWAYS be a two way street and that's the difference with these and stepford wives. That & I could never pull off the stepford blonde… (:
Nicely put and I agree with your perception of this better than the generous wives way of putting it. Love, kindness, respect is a two way street. I am definitely the more bull-headed one of the 2 of us and (like you) loud, opinionated and definitely crazy! :-). Of course, part of what attracted my husband to me, was all of those things. My opinions, my intense emotion and love, my fiery spirit. I think there needs to be a blend of what is truly us and a blend of of "sweetness" and submissiveness. If I come off as harsh or bitter, I try and make up for it later by doing something nice or unexpected. Occasionally doing a chore that is typically his or taking that extra step to make dinner extra special. I like to show the sweet "submissive" side of me through my actions more than through my words. Because usually my mouth gets me in trouble! 🙂