I’m curious if you can relate…
Everyone has ‘funks’ that they go through. Call it the ‘ups & downs’ of life, the ‘baby blues’, a ‘rut’ or just a ‘bad day’ that somehow seems to be lasting quite longer than 24hrs. Whatever you want to call these less than joyous periods of our lives most of the time we’re able to hobble along through them until the good outweighs the bad & we move onto the next chunk of time in our lives.
Whether it’s my health, arguments with my husband (let’s be honest, if you’re married for awhile & especially if you have young kids you’re gonna have some rough patches) or a tough time with my kids I always seem to be having one of the aforementioned in chaos, the thing is usually the other ones are doing well, or at least keeping afloat so I can still manage life by leaning on the solid legs & sometimes even move forward even though one aspect of my life isn’t at it’s best. The problem I’m finding is when more than one start to short circuit, I get into trouble. Let’s see if I can come up with an analogy to help.
When I look at myself I envision a 3 legged girl. It’s me, with a tripod bottom.
(breathtaking likeness, I know, my talent is undeniable)
If one of the things that controls my life starts to break down I can still balance on the other two to keep moving & most of the time do what’s necessary to help the limp one heal. There have been a few times, one being now, where more than one of my legs has broken & I can’t balance anymore, the only thing to do is fall flat on the floor & sit there, not sure how to get up again.
That’s why I haven’t found the strength to blog…or create…or really take care of my health. I feel like I want to do these things but without a foundation to lift me up so I can move I just stay in the same place. Immobile. And the more time that passes in this position the worse it gets. Every day you sit stationary & don’t move forward is another day lost, it’s more opportunities lost & those realizations for me, well, they just make things worse because I want to blog, to take my kids to the pool, to expand my career, to workout, to have an amazing romantic relationship with my husband & to put the work into being able to do ‘clean eating’. (if you’ve done it than you know how much thought, shopping & prep is required to keep away from just going through a drive-thru multiple times a week)
But something clicked for me today that I think could help to change things…I need a new foundation.
While I love my husband more than I could ever express I can’t rely on him to hold me up. It’s not his job & it puts me in a vulnerable position to rely on someone else who has their own balancing act going on. That leg of my tripod is so fragile, it’s there, but it’s wobbly & wrapped in duct tape. (albeit pretty pink chevron duct tape I’m sure) It needs time to heal, it doesn’t need to have all the weight of supporting me put on to it right now.
Getting sick has taught me a very good lesson. My own strength is unreliable. Our health can easily dissapear & it be 100% out of our control. Can you do lots of things to make the best of it or maybe even resolve a health problem completely? Of course. But losing that leg on your tripod, even if it’s momentarily, isn’t something you can help.
For me, the third part of my tripod is my job. Being the homemaker is not only taking care of the children & the house because I have to (hello, we need clean underwear & someone had better feed that little one before she becomes hangry) it’s also something I’ve needed to fulfill me. I love being a stay at home mom, I would fight tooth & nail before I gave that up but it does have it’s downsides. One of them being the lack of fulfillment you get. There’s no one writing up an annual review on your ability to discipline, find creative outlets for your children or how many vegetables you can get them to eat. (I’m stuck at 3) There is no bonus if you finally sleep train them, (aside from the sleep of course…oh blessed sleep, how I miss thee.) & no boss pats you on the back after you pull multiple all nighters (and ‘all day-ers’) because one kid has strepp & the other bronchitis. While I can say I have tried very hard to not let my funk, you know what, let’s call it what it is, my depression, get in the way of giving them the best life possible I’m sure I could be doing an even better job if I wasn’t doing it while limping along from missing my other two legs.
There’s a second half to the third leg…it’s what I do here and as you can see from the cobwebs on the corners LPM has been a bit neglected lately & that really plays a part in how I feel about myself, every night that goes by that I don’t take advantage of the opportunities I have to really turn LPM into a career for myself make me sad & feel like a fool for wasting something I’ve wanted for so long. I have so much to share but I just haven’t been able to find that drive I had before to find time to edit photos, create new recipes or just to sit down & spill my heart on the page. Until today that is… (;
So we’ve established the problem, I’m relying on my support from the wrong place. Each of the those legs, while being wonderful, beautiful legs that I truly cherish, are not meant to support my happiness & strength. It actually needs to be vice versa…my strength should be supporting each of those legs so they can be nurtured & flourish!
So what’s the answer? When you go to sit down on your chair of life what do you put all of your weight on so it doesn’t break & leave you flat on your arse?
I do believe, because of my faith, that I have to rely on God to be my strength. For me, I’m starting to believe all of these trials were wake up calls to show me that I’ve been leaning to heavily on the love of my husband, my own health & strength, or the validity that comes from being a mother & also my work. That’s why each one of those is snapping, they aren’t meant to be leaned on, they are meant to be lifted up.
Whether you believe it’s asking the universe, or maybe the philosophy of ‘The Secret’ or anything else I think we can agree, ‘I am not enough.’ My weakness has shown me that I haven’t been relying on God’s strength. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever truly had to, maybe in a moment of hardship but not every single day like I’m experiencing now.
SO, this is where I share with you what I’m going to do in the hopes that maybe it will inspire or help you. I also hope not to sound like some sort of granola weirdo but whatever, here goes nothing:
For the last few mornings, after the girls are gone to camp & the house is quiet I’ve sat on my knees & before asking for anything I go through what I’m thankful for. Even if P & I got into a fight the night before & I’m still thinking he’s a giant poopy-head I’ll thank God for him. I’ll thank God for his dedication to this family, I’ll thank him that I have a husband who’s continually willing to try & help our marriage, I’ll thank him for giving me a man that truly loves me. I’ve found that if you sit, with your eyes closed & your hands open on your lap & you just start talking about what you’re thankful for you’ll surprise yourself at what you really have. Thankfulness can immediately change perspectives.
I’m also in the process of giving everything in my house to God. This is easier said than done. For example, the blog. There are the TV appearances, marketing I could be doing, I have a list a mile long of ways I could be expanding LPM but every time I try I just get stuck & mess it all up. So, while sitting with my hands open, I said, “God, I give you my blog. It is no longer under my control, I give it to you & trust that you will guide me with what you want to be done with it.”
Similarly, I’ve had to give my marriage to God, I won’t go into great detail because while I for some reason have no filter when it comes to baring my heart on the internet, others (for good reason) don’t always feel the same. Just know we were in an exhausting situation that I just could not fix…so I finally realized just a few days ago that I had to give it up. “God, I give you my marriage, please guide me as to what I’m supposed to do & give me the strength to accept your direction without question or pride, I trust you. Thankyou.”
Also I’ve really been wanting to move. (locally, but shhh, don’t tell anyone) Every time I think we’re making progress in that direction I end up facing another brick wall in front of me. It’s so frustrating. The getting excited only to be let down the next day over & over is emotionally decapitating. So I gave it up. I handed it over & said, “I give you the house, where you lead, I & my family will follow.”
That’s it, and I mean it. You have to. It doesn’t come easily & I certainly have repeatedly had to catch myself in the act of freaking out because on of my ‘legs’ is broken again & I can’t handle it but then I remember…I don’t have to handle it, I gave it up.
I feel great hope that this new foundation will change a lot of things. Heck, I’ll say it, I hope it changes my life.
Have you ever felt the same? What did you do?
Thank you for posting this. I needed to hear/read this. I’m facing an uphill battle in my marriage right now and I feel like my legs are broken and there’s no way for me to climb. Feeling empty and that I’m just a shell of my former self is debilitating right now. I will take a cue from you and give it all up to God, even though my faith is shattered right now. Maybe I’ll be able to find the answers to the barrage of questions that are filling my mind and heart and I just don’t know what the answers are to them.
Oh Nikki, I know exactly what you mean about having a ‘barrage of questions that you don’t know the answer to’…my hope is that by giving it up I don’t need to come up with the answers, it’s out of my hands. I know thats easier said than done but to me is sure seems like the best option!
I wish I had some magic anecdote to tell you, not only so it could help you but me too! All I can say is to take it a day at a time. My three legs are my marriage, my health, and getting back in school. I struggle with depression a lot too. Depression can be the bully that kicks you off all of your legs, no matter how hard you try to balance, but make sure you keep getting up. And just know that even when your faith is strong, there will be days when you fall flat on your face. The great thing is that tomorrow’s a new chance to try again… Sending hugs and prayers for stability your way. 🙂
That is great advice that I will definitely remember. Thank you Amanda (:
I have tears in my eyes as I read this. I feel as though you wrote about exactly what I have been going through for the past few weeks. I have been in a funk (personally) and it’s affecting everything around me: my kids, my job, my marriage, my happiness and well being and my health. I have been stuck with no idea how to move forward and be happier. A lot of my issues stem from body image (I have two girls, very close in age to your daughters and I have been struggling with getting my body back in shape) and not being able to change the way I look with healthy eating (you 100% right about clean/healthy eating taking a lot of time and effort!) and exercise. For 4 months straight I gave it my all and only lost a few pounds. About two weeks ago, someone asked if I was pregnant and after declaring that I wasn’t, went on to comment that I looked like I was. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Thank you so much for you insight. I am willing to try anything to get out of this dark spot. What better time to start then today, especially since I have a family vacation that’s starting on Saturday.
Oh Kristen! Sweet girl, I just want to give you a big hug!! I have to say, I am NOT a gym girl. Or a runner, tried that too. When I needed to lose baby weight it only happened by changing my diet (although not too severely, that never works long) & more importantly finding an exercise I love, like horseback riding or pilates.
I wish I could have been next to you when that person said that, I would’ve whopped them upside the head with my bag! Well, not really, because then I’d go to jail & then I’d be REALLY depressed!
Thank you for sharing, please stay in touch!
I read the entire blog…twice. Here’s what struck me. “Every day you sit stationary & don’t move forward is another day lost.” Is that true? And if you truly believe it, where did you learn that? What if the reverse were true? Every day you sit stationary & don’t move forward is another day found. Here’s another one…Every day you force yourself to move forward (when you really don’t want to) is another day lost. Maybe you’re worn out from forcing yourself to live up to your vision (or someone else’s vision) of what it means to move forward.
Hmm, that’s an interesting take on it Susan. I have to say, I took a few minutes to think about it & for me (and that I think is the key, “for ME” it is another day lost because what makes me happy is to make the most of every day. Let me say though, I’m all about taking a day to do absolutely nothing but lay on the couch recharge your brain & body. What I’m talking about is when that day turns into weeks…for many of us we end up at that point in our lives & it’s a very hard place to get out of.
I’m not talking about taking a day to lay on the couch, though I love to do that. Most of us (if we’re human) are sitting on an enormous pile of resentment. Yes, we love our kids and our husbands. And yes, we love to see them thriving and happy. And yes, we’re aware of how lucky we are that we can afford to stay home and be there for them. And the more fortunate our circumstances, the more guilt we feel about having resentment. Resentment that our life is not longer about us; that our life is now about everybody else. That we no longer have time or permission to live out our dreams. That part of us needs to be recognized and heard. Unacknowleged, what starts out as a kernel, builds up over time into a mountain of resentment. And that resentment, when deprived of an outlet, gets stored in our body and plays out in all sorts of physical ways. Then, well-meaning, we try to shove it down further by slapping a “positivity habit” on top of it, which only makes our inner resentment flare up even more. So what works for me is to completely air out my inner resentment; take it for a spin without guilt. I let myself feel and think all those petty, socially unacceptable thoughts without feeling like I’m a bad person. Because I’m not….I’m just human. Sometimes I call up another coach and tell her…”Ok, I’m just going to ‘consciously complain’ for awhile and I want you to just be listen.” When I hang up the phone I feel so much lighter.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I feel very similar to this I feel out of control of my life and body. Yesterday i was so sad that I felt no one understands around me and I was alone, although I have a husband and huge loving family. I even went to the doctors yesterday and couldn’t come out and say that word depression. Mostly because I was embarrassed. I appreciate you taking time to write this you are helping me not feel so alone. I am catholic and know that you should let go and let GOD but I was just so overwhelmed with myself. After reading your post I felt like a huge light bulb went off. I needed this. Thank you I hope this works for both of us. Thank you for sharing your life, you have such a beautiful family. Sending love and prayers .
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and leave such a beautiful, honest comment. You don’t know how much it means to me… You and me together girlie! Please keep in touch with your journey. (:
I think (?) I may have mentioned the book “Sanctuary of the Soul” before in one of my comments, but if I didn’t, I would highly encourage it. An awesome, awesome book.
On a much more irreverent note, your third leg looks kind of like a huge penis. That’s all. 😉
HA! OMG!
I love you!
Right before you wrote saying what you are going to do which was to before asking for anything you go through what you’re thankful for, I said to myself “I thank God for what I do have” and literally teared up once I read that sentence seconds later. We went through a scary path with our youngest son right after he was born and what ended up being just an innocent bald spot on the back of his head, ( which could have been much more), today, I look down at his bald spot, and thank God for it (its easier too because he’s a boy and Im sure one day will think its cool ;)). Thank you for writing this as a full time working mom I live daily with the guilt of not being with my boys more, not giving my husband more attention in between tending to the boys, not living in our ‘dream home’ or heck, even a iota of it, or feeling like I am never good enough and ‘why dont things ever just fall into place’ type of feeling. I always go back to God and thank him for the blessings I do have. And thank you for reminding me that I need to continue to do so. Big computer hugs to you!
Thank you for sharing Erika, ((BIG HUGS)) right back at ya!
I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I have enjoyed reading your blogs for a while now as they are so beyond relatable. As a full time working mother, young kids who are very active, and some family illness that we are currently dealing with, life becomes complicated and overwhelming so quickly. I know I feel like I want to do it all perfectly, but my view of perfection has changed recently. I used to get this overwelming feeling of a dark cloud overhead which then would translate into a rapid heart rate and terrible anxiety. By supporting my family member who is battling an illness today I have taken a new approach of “it truly could be worst”. This has become my mantra and has provided me a release of my anxiety. It has provided be the strength to let go of my vision of perfection and adopted a new vision of happiness which doesn’t equate to perfection anymore. It is what my daughter calls “perfectish”. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Your blog is so raw, real and relatable. I know it helps many others.
Hi Natasha,
I know exactly how you are feeling!! I feel the same way most of the time. However, I am not a stay at home Mom. I absolutely adore my job as a paraeducator and feel very blessed to have such a great job and work with such an awesome group of educators not to mention the precious children. I know exactly what you mean about health and marriage and depression. I can so relate. My grandmother once told me (she is a very wise 89 year young lady) it’s an insult to God to WORRY about anything because He is in control and he has got this and any situation you are in. So giving it up to God is an excellent way to start being that your faith is a strong foundation to have. Good luck girl, instead of saying You got this, just know God has this! 🙂
That is hard to hear but SO SO true, it is an insult to worry…I’m going to remember that today, and tomorrow, & hopefully the next (; Thankyou Debby!
I feel like so many of us (your readers) needed to read this. Like we’re all somewhat going through the same thing. LPM will always be here waiting for 🙂
I just wanted to add something, and I hope this comes out in the positive light I intend it to come from, don’t forget YOU are strong enough for the life God gave you. It’s important to remember that God is always there, but sometimes strength has to come from within (whether it’s from failure, triumph, random thoughts, etc.) I just don’t want you to forget that you ARE strong – if you look back at the things on your plate (post from a few months ago) you have a lot going on. And not everyone could handle it like you have. I hope you, and everyone else on here, realizes how truly strong they are. Life situation and circumstances can be difficult, but you’ve all conquered them 🙂
Life is definitely not easy but if it was we may not appreciate the blessings we are given. For years I struggled with some of the same issues. Things changed when I found a blog written by a mother whose child had cancer. Although the family struggled with why this was happening, they never faltered in their beliefs that God would guide them. The motto they used was F.R.O.G. – Fully Rely on God. The grace this family showed was remarkable. It made me realize that life is an adventure. We may not always like where the adventure takes us but what we learn through the adventure will make us stronger.
What to do when I feel blue? First find a god therapist and psychiatrist.That may not be so easy , but find one you can talk to. , trust…. Next, for me it important to get enough sleep, exercise and get outside daily. Faith, prayers really help me. Volunteer, even for an hour or two. ( it gets me thinking about helping other people and not thinking about myself so much ) Yes I have a family, 2 kids, a husband and my laundry is never really done.
Sometimes health problems slow me down, but then I have to dust myself off and give each new day a chance to be a better day.Some health issues may not have a cure and I have to find ways to “feel” strong.There is always light at the end of the tunnel,however I am trying to light candles along the way.
Thankyou for this post! When I am in a funk , here is what I do. Plan something to look forward to!(a weekend away,or a vacation).I love planning vacations, even if it is a year in advance.Learn something new.( take a painting or sewing class)When I really feel bad, I like to talk to my best friend or my sister.Sometimes a long bath with a few drops of lavender essential oil does wonders. I also change my hair style or color,and wear bright colors like red or pink to feel more cheery! A walk outside also helps clear my head. If you are too depressed to get out if bed for more than a few days please get help!Therapy can really help.
The job of being a parent is one of the most difficult, especially when kids are young.A date night out once a week I find helps keeps things romantic.When I feel overwhelmed, I try to simplify family meals and hire a teenager to be a mother’s helper.( it ilot easier to get household chores done, when some one is playing with the kids)
Take care of your self ! Have you read the bog bliss beyond naptime? it has a lot of ideas on how to simplify life when the kids are little and is written in a style that makes me laugh.
Natasha, I have recently started following your blog and IG and had noticed the sadness in your “voice” while you blogged, and today while reading this one you wrote all I had been reading in between lines in your blog. I understand being in a funk and it not in a good place, but I have found that the only thing I can trust during bad times is good. I think you ha e humbled yourself in giving it all to God, he is always listening to us but we have to have the will to let him and take control of our lives and you will see all will be much better. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breath from stuff at work or money situaations and then I run into someone with real need and puts things in perspective, I go help them out even when I think I can’t but you realize i am so lucky. Counting blessings is a huge part of it. Another thing as you said it’s periods of life and better ones will come. When depression hits your thoughts aren’t in order , you can’t focus and that’s when that overwhelming feeling comes. You should step back and make life simple. Wake up, take care girls, eat , sleep get rest and enjoy life…reapeat. even if u have to put your career on hold for a bit. You need to get tour strength back and then start adding other elements to it, but when you are ready and standing on your own two feet. From all you say you do a lot for others and not much for yourself. Take care! You are in my prayers! God bless! Dios te bendiga!
Natasha, thank you so very much for this article. I completely can relate to what you posted; it really hit close to home. It seems as if so many more women are trying to do this crazy balancing act of life, yet not many verbally express how hard it is at times. Us moms have to stand by each other and help lift each other spirits up.
I too depend on my husband way more than I probably should and things like this article point it out so clearly…making me realize I am the one who needs to change. I need to leave it all up to God, because He always gets me through.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
for this article!
You ARE doing a wonderful job with everything, despite the setbacks you have come across!
I went through a depression where I truly felt paralyzed and overwhelmed / exhausted by all the work required to move forward. There was no individual awful thing in my life just lots of smallish challenges that all hit at once and felt overwhelming because nothing was “good”. I knew what I “should” be doing but instead would just sit on my couch trying not to cry. Eventually I tried an antidepressant after getting over my own hangups about them. I’m so thankful I did, it didn’t make me no longer care about things (which is what I thought it would do, just numb my feelings and make me indifferent) it instead took away the feeling of being overwhelmed and gave me the ability to start taking small steps in the right direction again. I was on them for about 6 months and it made a world of difference. It may be worth considering if you haven’t already, I’m so thankful I took that step so that I could find my own mojo again.
Oh Nat! that’s the best thing that you can do, just rely on God, life is hard, of course, but it is also beautiful! enjoy all those precious moments that you have with your hubby, your girls, and other family and friends. Maybe you may think I’m crazy because how I wish to have a ‘chaos’ like you have with your girls! LOL My hubby and I are trying to conceive, hopefully this year is the one (fingers crossed) but still, I am thankful to God to give me a good man o share my life with 🙂
One little thing that I learned these years is to start praying with my hubby. It works wonders! We started this year and is great! we just talked a little with God, holding hands, is not much, maybe a minute, and twice a day, and we just give thanks for everything, even though we don’t have all the material things that we wish like money, a better car ( we have a 1996 oldie) or a vacation (at least a day a year, gosh) we are still thankful because we are alive and we can help and serve others even if we don’t have much.
XOXO Natasha, and to your family 🙂
That is SUCH a good idea! Thank you Elena, P & I should absolutely be doing that & I think it’s just a matter of making it a higher priority. So much love to you!!
I thank you for posting this. I a, really not having a great day at all and it doesn’t help that it’s Moday. I like how you use describe standing on three legs. My being a single Mom I feel that I really have to rely on myself for support to get though life and just raising my son. I feel like I’m a bad mom no matter what I do because I am the only parent and I have to be both the good cop and bad cop. He wasn’t trying to goto sleep last night and I was so tired from being in the hot sun at the playground and just entertaining him that when bath time was over, it was time for him to go to bed. So I let him watch a movie after bath then he wanted to be very noisy at night so I had to take him in the basement just to get him to go to sleep. Then I put another movie on for him. He was crying so much that I just wanted him to stop but I didn’t stop to understand why he was crying so much. Maybe his feelings was hurt, but I was so focus on begin tired and trying to go to bed. It like that with me all the times where I just don’t have the energy to understand what’s going on with him or myself at that time, so I definitely don’t put energy into handling certain situations the correct way. Its very hard being a mom, a single mother. I really would like to goto church to help me with encouragement i think that would help me a lot.
Ugh, Amber I’m so sorry, I know where youre at with that exhaustion however I cannot imagine being completely on my doing it…I hope God gives you the rest you need so you can get the clarity we all need when we’re parenting. Also sometimes in those moments of the crying chaos tornado can I recommend just taking a step back. Literally 30 seconds, in the bathroom, in the dark, with the fan on, is my go to hiding spot to just get a grip. It truly helps me come back in with a little better perspective. Also forcing myself to stop & take 10 SLOW DEEP breaths truly does help. I pray that God blesses you today & every day, so much love your way my friend!! ((big hugs!))
Natasha-
I’ve been reading your blog for several months.. stumbled across it after an episode or two of HOT 99.5 but this is my first time responding to a post. One thing that I’ve been noticing in your more recent posts is your growing relationship with God.. and it’s amazingly beautiful to see you come to Him in your own time and your own trials in life. I know where you are at.. I have been there too. Although I am not a SAHM, I would love to be-that’s where my heart is. My “legs” are different but it’s still a delicate balancing act, but God is teaching me too. Teaching me to rely on His strength, His love, His word, His promises for my life and for my family. It’s never our own plans, it’s His; and if you try (really try because it is incredibly difficult) to keep that into perspective you will look at life with a whole new set of eyes! You’re going thru these moments for a special reason that will eventually be revealed. God is using you sister, I can feel it in your words, posts and pictures. You are meant for more & the best is yet to come! Lots of love and prayers to you!
Jessica, I don’t know how to express my reaction to your comment…knowing that someone could see from the outside what I hadn’t even really seen yet in myself is…awe inspiring. Thank you so very much for your comment, it put tears in my eyes and it’s not even 9a yet! Yours is one I will re-read over and over, thankyou mama. You are in my prayers too & I hope one day life works out so you can stay home with your babies & fill where your hear is at. SO much love your way! ((big hugs!!))
Amen, He really is using her!! The spiritual growth and passion she conveys through her writing makes me want to shout!! God is at work in your life and you are saying “I am here, take all of me!”
Health issues and depression can make me feel like the rug was pulled out from under my feet.With small children it is extra hard. My heart goes out to you as I know you are hurting and miss your”old self “.It is very important to find good medical care.( mind and body) Get extra help to clean the house, and get a babysitter to help with the girls.Make it your highest priority to get well, so you can enjoy life again.Prayers help,as hope will find you!
I still don’t know how you do it! My inspiration
Have you ever been to church and left thinking that sermon was directed towards you? Well your blog couldn’t have come at a better time! You don’t know how much your words help me!!! I’m struggling with so many different aspects of my life and feel like my head is barely above the water! To know I’m not alone helps beyond measure! I love you!!!’
You are SO not alone my friend!! Thank you for letting me know I’m not either!
This is awesome!! I am so happy that you are relying on God’s strength! Psalms 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” That whole Psalm is so powerful and gives so much comfort. This new hope will change your life!! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; the old has gone, the new is here!” I went through a rough patch as I had a baby (not planned of course) and got married all at the same time when I was only 19! My husband was 21 so he was just as young. I now had to be a mother and a wife, but still wanting to do what normal 19 yr olds do. My husband was going through his own difficulties. He cheated on me. To make a long story short, God brought me out of depression, and brought my husband out of infidelity. We will be celebrating 8 yrs of marriage next year, and God has shown us that when it gets rough we have Him to rely on to work out our battles. God is powerful and He will bring you through!!!
Thank you for sharing this. My husband is the one in our marriage who is chronically ill and it’s taken me a while to realize how difficult it is on him, and all of us. We’ve had our really bad times and our not so bad times. Right now it’s good. You are in my thoughts and prayers as I have seen first hand how hard it can be to be chronically ill and maintain a healthy marriage and family life with two little kiddos. And I understand letting a little dust gather on the blog to focus on the living. I’ve been reading your blog since it was the old one (samstermommy?), and I’ve always enjoyed your posts. I’m in the process of dusting off my blog– in need of a little of the fulfillment you referenced above– and I’m nearly crippled with indecision and self-doubt. Best wishes for better days.
Thank you so much for your sweet words Kandace, when you wipe the dust off yours please make sure I’m the first to know (;
As I was reading your post, it felt as if you were quite literally reading my mind. I have been following LPM for awhile now and though there were many times I thought about leaving a comment, today I absolutely had to. I have been in a funk for about the past year. I am a college student in my early twenties and aside from my best friend , I haven’t shared with anyone how I have been feeling. It sounds ridiculous in my head that I, a twenty something year old would have a reason to be in a funk. I just received two Associate’s degrees and am pursing my Bachelor’s. Yet for the past year, even time I overcome an obstacle or accomplish something, I feel as if almost instantly five or ten things pop up and pull me right back. I am a huge control freak and I feel that 90% of the things that have happened over the past year have been completely out of my control. Though I know that God is in control of everything I struggle so much to put that knowledge to action. All I can say is that my relationship with God is still very much a work in progress. I am taking it day by day, minute by minute sometimes. God has always and will always get us though. He is always there even when it seems that he is a million miles away. We will make it though, is all I can say to you right now. Jesus calmed the storm in the sea of Galilee, he can and will calm the storms in our lives. Stay strong!!!! You and your family are in my
my prayers. Much love XOXOX and God Bless ☺
Oh Margo! I so wish I could just wrap my arms around you & give you a big hug!
So two things, no make that three, things come to mind.
1. Tell a friend or family member, you might be shocked that she/he’s been through the same thing. Also it’s so bad to keep things inside & just force yourself to keep it to yourself.
2. Have you heard of the app “Jesus Calling”? If not download it asap, it’s crazy how much it helps me get through the day & I think you’d love it…
3. ((BIG HUGS!)) There. Better?
Thank you for writing and sharing about your funk with me, much love right back at ya!
Downloaded the app and luving it
Thanks 🙂
Well, scrolling through the comments it seems that so many women are experiencing this exact same struggle – which is both saddening and comforting at the same time. There was a time like a year ago or so when you wrote about a necklace and your husband and I can’t remember all the details of it but I remember that I read it exactly at the time I needed it and commented and you commented back and it was a glorious display of the universe picking me up in a gigantic hug! So that just happened again! I read this post on the exact day (today) I decided to start a gratitude journal because something’s gotta give here. I have a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old and the depression is oppressive. My anxiety over everything is overwhelming. I totally know what you mean by just sitting there. It feels like all I can do. The anxiety that got me on the floor in the first place then takes over more as I worry about all of the things that are piling up around me because I just can’t muster the motivation or energy to get to them. My husband had a long talk with me and told me to just close my eyes in those moments of feeling overwhelmed and pray. I started it today. Though I won’t say it was a miracle fix, I will say it gave me the strength to keep going in that moment. And maybe that’s what it takes – living moment to moment. But just know that you give gigantic universe hugs to me, and apparently to lots of other folks, too. Thank you.
I LOVE your comment & desperately needed to hear it today, thank you for sending your ((BIG HUGS)) this way! (:
I’m a few days late in reading this, but thank you so much for being a voice for all of us. As many people already commented on, it’s comforting to know that we aren’t alone. It’s so hard t ofind a balance between taking a leap of faith and giving your all to your partner/spouse/significant other/best friend, but then also realizing that they cannot be the support that can only come from within yourself.
And when you (the universal you, not you personally :D) let yourself down by getting overwhelmed or not feeling like you can handle everything, it’s hard not to feel defeated, hopeless, and alone – even with your best friend laying right beside you. But, we persevere, and try to survive another day – to a much better, happier day.
And you’ve helped me do just that. THANK YOU.
You are so so welcome. (:
Thank you, I can see you have heard this before but, I was definitely guided to read this today. I just got caught up on your blog today because I have been really down for over a month and have felt like a robot on autopilot. Because Fall is coming I know I will have many more of these times but, I will remember this post and read it when I don’t. I love this blog, I follow you and your husband and everyone at the Kane Show (I promis I am not a weirdo) and you all help people so much, you have no clue. Thank you and I will say a pray of thanks and blessings for you!!
XX
Thanks Tonya & sending just as much love your way!!!
Hi Natasha! I am a listener of the Kane Show and just love listening to your husband. He is such a good guy and I am glad I can listen to a popular radio station without getting turned off for the most part. So, there is that. I also just recently found this blog of yours and it is SO awesome and encouraging to see a great, fun, feminine, silly, girly and pretty mom who embraces being a stay-at-home mom AND is open about faith, while also having real life struggles at the same time but also, managing. While I am not yet a mom OR a wife, this blog has still nonetheless been really great to read because it helps me even in the state of preparation for becoming (hopefully) a wife and mom. Additionally, it’s also really cool to read about faith in like…regular people language. Not that pretentious kind or fluffy unrelateable saccharine kind that I usually hear. So, I just wanted to thank you for that! I look forward to more posts and hope you and your family had a Merry Christmas! Anyway, hope this comment wasn’t weird or anything, especially since this post was from the summer haha but … it has been just such a pleasant surprise to stumble upon this blog via a radio show I listen to and find out that you and the blog and your family share a lot of similar values as I do. So, just wanted to thank you!
Hi Valentina! (LOVE the name btw) thank you so much for your comment! I love that you get the whole non “fluffy unrelateable saccharine kind” thing, exactly what we were going for. (;
Take care & thanks for saying hi!