homemade baby food swap

by Natasha on November 2, 2018 in dinner 101

I have to say, even though I can’t do it every single time, there is something incredibly satisfying about being able to take a bunch of beautiful, fresh ingredients & blend them into a lovely creamy baby meal. I started buying organic jarred baby food when Sam came along but it cost a fortune and she didn’t love it either. With Sophie I decided to make my own which not only saved me some money but I loved that I knew exactly what went into that food I was shoving in her mouth. I learned that the shelf baby food has to be flash heated so it can maintain shelf stability but that zaps a bunch of the good ingredients, ugh! I can’t think of a better time to splurge on fresh, organic ingredients than when it’s for a developing mind & body.

Fast forward 8 years & here I am again, albeit, I have to admit, I’m a bit rusty…

That’s where you guys come in! A few weeks ago I posted a picture of some homemade food on my IG & asked if anyone would be interested in swapping some baby food recipes & as always, you were totally game.So let’s do this. In the comments below leave your favorite baby food recipes, tips & tricks for creating & storing, or any other nugget that has to do with homemade baby food. I’ll go ahead and start…

Little man’s favorite that he will open his mouth for until he’s in a food coma is sweet potato, mango, avocado & cream cheese (I might even lick the spoon with that one) Also my can’t live without tool is my Bamix stick blender. It’s a splurge for sure but I’ve had it for over 10 years & use it all the time for perfect mashed potatoes, velvety blended soups & now baby food. After my cast iron skillet & chef’s knife it’s my favorite tool in the kitchen for sure.

Ok, now your turn!! Maybe we can get 25 recipes below? Maybe???

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Spaghetti Baby, Zombies & Addams…oh my!

by Natasha on November 1, 2018 in Uncategorized

Last night was AMAZING. It was by far the best Halloween we’ve had yet! The costumes were awesome, the kids totally got into character, even the little meatball cooperated! The best part though was being able to finally see all of our friends & family gathered together, walking down the street of our adorable neighborhood, laughing & sharing in a relaxed, enjoyable, & incredibly fun night.

I really love Halloween, moreso after having kids for sure. My mom always made my costumes growing up and to now make them for my children is just one of those warm fuzzy instances which warms your heart.

I know the girls enjoyed past Halloweens too & even though I had them I was still always a little jealous of the families who dressed up and went out together. The ones who had friends they could pre-party with and then head out to trick or treat with. That just wasn’t our situation, and while it felt very isolating I tried to make the best of it for them. That’s what you do as a mom, right? Do the best with the cards your dealt and cross your fingers it’s enough. I came to a point where I just accepted it & the funny thing is, that’s when life changed. I’m going to write more about this another time but it was extremely hard to accept that this new, wonderful man in my life could actually be what I always felt I was missing before. Someone who wanted to help with getting everyone in their costumes, wanted to make friends with other families and expand our circle & wanted to slowly walk for blocks enjoying watching the dressed up little munchkins excitedly scurry their way up & down each neighbor’s driveway. There’s a picture below where you can see Sam walking down a pretty golden treed street but if you look closely there’s also a man, a little girl in a black dress & a stroller ahead. I took the picture to remind myself of this yummy moment where life was exactly what I had hoped for. I can’t take credit for the baby spaghetti & meatballs idea. I was googling DIY baby outfits, that one came up and I just couldn’t resist! Obviously, and this should go without saying but I’ll say it anyway, you should never leave your baby unattended while wrapped in yarn. Duh. I made the outfit by sewing bunches of yarn circles onto different places of a cream colored onesie. The hat is stitched from an old sleep sack which was the same cream color & the meatballs are styrofoam chocolate colored painted balls. Chocolate balls. (insert snicker here) I put extra “noodles” all around him in the bassinet along with a few more meatballs. The salad serving set made the perfect spaghetti silverware! There are links to Sam’s dress, which was a pretty dress up gown I had way too much fun destroying, and Sophie’s perfect Wednesday Addams dress on my instagram account but if anyone wants more details just let me know! I took a video of the process of creating Sam’s dress, if you guys want me to post a quick time-lapse version on IG let me know in the comments. I hope you had an amazing Halloween with your little monsters too!!

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Dinner tonight: Pasta Primavera with Chicken

by Natasha on October 10, 2018 in dinner 101

Ask and Ye Shall Receive…

I have to say, no exaggeration, this might just be the best thing I’ve ever made. Ok, except that time I made steak sandwiches on homemade everything bagels, because c’mon, fresh bread, but it’s a darn close second. The thing is, it really isn’t anything I did that made it taste so good. What made it next level was the farmstand fresh ingredients. If you follow me on Instagram than you know about my big haul from the Dupont Circle Farmer’s Market this past Sunday…

However one thing I didn’t post which I bought was some homemade pasta. OH MY. That was something.

Now listen, is it realistic that we are going to be able to dash off to the farm fresh stand & fill up our chic reusable tote with a plethora of in season cuisine? Um, that’s a big NO. Although when we can, it’s become a nice little tradition for our family to go on the weekends together. The girls get little bouquets of fresh cut flowers & watermelon ice pops, and it gets us all out and in the city. But enough of that, you didn’t click on this post for the mushy stuff, you want the dish on the, well, dish!

This recipe is pretty darn easy, it went from unbagged to on the table in 30 minutes. Might have been able to shave off another 5 if I didn’t also make the little man some fresh baby food while I was at it.

You can totally change this recipe around for whatever veggies you can find at the time. I was thinking that some squashes or maybe root veggies with fresh thyme would be tasty too. Mmm… I really need to stop writing recipe posts when I haven’t eaten yet.

Preheat oven to 450

Prep the vegetables by slicing them in thin layers so that when they roast you’ll get all the browned yummy bits on the edges. For mine I used leeks, crimini mushrooms, mini eggplants (peeled and cut into small slices), tomatoes (quartered & placed skin side down), swiss chard & whole peeled garlic cloves. If you’ve never had garlic fresh plucked from the ground then you’re missing out my friend. I’m gonna have a tough time going back to the dusty grocery store ones. I also used lemon, butter, parmesan, tagliatelle pasta & fresh oregano leaves. Oh, and I added sliced up chicken breasts since the mister is trying to only eat veggies & protein for dinner. He totally ended up not being able to say no to that fresh pasta!

On a baking sheet spread out the veggies, drizzle with EVOO, and season well with salt & pepper. Toss lightly with your hands to combine. Put in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes. During that time you can prep the chicken breasts with whatever herbs you like. I used salt, pepper and these Herbs de Provence. (That’s a fancy way of saying a bunch of italian herbs all in one bottle.) Season it pretty well, it’ll need to pack some punch since the pasta is mostly sauceless. You can also get a pot of salt & water boiling. (if you add about a tbs of salt to water it helps it boil faster & it’s a way to season the noodles!)

Timer should be going off about now. Use a spatula to gently flip all the veggies, except the tomatoes, & put back in the oven for another 10 minutes. During those last 10 minutes you’re going to be busy. Mommy has to focus! First, start boiling your pasta (follow package instructions for cook time) & cooking your chicken in your go to skillet with some EVOO, over medium hi heat, for 3-4 minutes per side. Before you strain your pasta save about a cup of the pasta water. Set aside. Go ahead and set the chicken aside too so it can rest. Turn the skillet down to low & deglaze the pan by adding a 2-3 pats of butter, the juice of 1 lemon & just enough pasta water so you can scrape up all the yummy bits and still have a bit of a sauce. If you’re adding greens now is the time to add them to the skillet so they can quickly wilt. Next add in all your yummy roasted veggies to the skillet and gently toss. In a bowl serve the pasta, a large helping of the saucy veggies, sliced chicken on top, sprinkle of chopped fresh oregano leaves & a healthy dose of parmesan cheese for the savory cherry on top!

*TIP* if you didn’t have quite enough “sauce” for your noodles a drizzle of a good EVOO will totally do the trick

Please let me know if you end up making this, I’d love the feedback! Have a great dinner!

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blackened mango salmon with coconut rice

by Natasha on October 5, 2018 in dinner 101

A few of you were asking about the “kid friendly salmon” on my instagram post last weekend. Well my friend, this is it! Yup- a blackened salmon dish is kid friendly, not a typo, I swear, it works! This also happens to be my go-to “impress company with your mad culinary skillz” dish. Little do they know it’s ridiculously simple & is on the table in 30 minutes or less. All in all, a great recipe to keep in your arsenal, no matter who the partaker is.A few points…

– Turn the exhaust fan on before the fish hits the skillet if you’re afraid of a stinky house.

– Take a chance & make the coconut rice, you’ll never view white rice the same again. I use the Whole Food’s brand Thai style jasmine rice but regular white rice will work too, it just won’t be as sticky.

– Making your own blackening season is worth the effort & not nearly as difficult as it sounds. This way you can adjust for your family’s tastebuds, I use mine constantly!

First step, start the rice…

In a saucepan over medium heat combine coconut milk, rice, 1 & 1/4 cu water and a pinch of salt, bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to a simmer cooking rice for 18 minutes. Remove from heat and fluff with a fork being sure to combine any leftover liquids.

While the rice is cooking…

Season your fillets very well with the blackening seasoning, feel free to go a little easier on the kid’s portions & don’t forget to also season them with salt.

In a large skillet (I used my favorite cast iron one) heat a small amount of oil over medium high heat & place fillets skin side up, cooking for 2-3 minutes. Using a fish spatula (helps to prevent the fish from falling apart) turn the fillets over and continue to cook skin side down for an additional 2 minutes. Before removing I like to let a small pat of butter melt over the top of each fillet. Mmm…just helps it be moist & buttery while also looking mighty pretty. To remove, slide the spatula between the skin and fillet, you’ll find it sticks to the pan and the fish slides right off!

I love to plate this dish by layering the coconut rice, then chunks of fresh mango & avocado, then the golden fillet & finally finish with a squeeze of fresh lime juice. Oh man, I’m getting hungry just typing this!

Serve hot & absorb the onslaught of compliments! (or perhaps more like what my kid’s said in response to finally agreeing to eat fish “well, OK. I guess it’s not that bad. I guess I wouldn’t mind seconds.”) Hey, I’ll take it!

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Sophie’s Whimsical Garden Bedroom

by Natasha on October 2, 2018 in decorating, room makeover, Uncategorized

What do you think?? Considering we’re renters and I can’t do any major changes aside from paint I think we pulled off a pretty cozy and memorable room. Soph seems to be a happy client, she says looking up at the butterflies helps her have good dreams. I’m not so sure it’s that magical of a room but we won’t be telling her that, whatever helps everyone sleep I’ll take!

Of course with being an 8 yr old girl’s room there needed to be a lot of cubbies to hide all of the random treasures I’d be fired over if I threw away. Decorative trays help corral all of the day to day glittered and googly eyed goodies while a berry scented diffuser makes the raspberry bedding seem all too real. Sophie says it smells like PEZ. She also says that’s a very good thing. I made the raspberry garland by hot gluing crystallized berries I had found on some faux strands that were a bit cheesy on their own. I added silk white flowers, leaves and vine looking curled wires to complete the strands. To give her a cozy reading nook I strung LED plug in fairy lights around the inside of her tent and attached leftover butterflies to create a whimsical place to gaze.

We’re quickly outgrowing this house but I’m of the mindset to try & make your space a home no matter the length of stay. If it makes you feel happy when you walk in the door or lay your head down at night then it was well worth the effort!

{want one too? links to items are at the end of the post}

glitter photo frame plug-in warm LED fairy lights yellow ombre hanging tent wall friendly poster putty strawberry oil diffuser reeds rainbow wall butterflies flower basket purse she is fierce print

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driving home photo album

by Natasha on May 23, 2016 in Uncategorized

Hello my sweet friend! I know I haven’t been on here in awhile. A longgg while, but it’s not because I haven’t been writing. I was talking with my mom recently & was lamenting to her about how I felt trapped on a roller coaster of emotions that I damn well wanted off of. Normally writing here, to you, helps tremendously to relieve those ups & more particularly, the downs. It isn’t just the “getting it off my chest”, although that certainly helps, but it’s the conversation I get in return. The comments…”comments” sounds way too sterile, it’s the way you are willing to share your heart with me in return. The more I spill my heart on the page, the more you bless me with your own stories. Your triumphs & hindsight inspire me, while your grief & empathy make me feel not alone.

There is a problem with that system however. IT’S ON THE INTERNET! Duh, I know.

When you’re in the middle of a legal battle the last thing you should do is show your soft underbelly for others to jump on & misconstrue.

Mom suggested that I keep writing, every up, every down & every loopdy loop that makes me want to hurl.

So I have been. I have countless drafts saved in here, who know if they’ll every make their journey to the screen but it is a hissing relief of pressure. Maybe I’ll write a book! (; ((interpretation: winky faces=jokes))

Back to today, I wanted to jump on my laptop after taking the girls to school because I wanted to ask you something different.

What is the process of grief? A big, pretty vague question, I know I’m asking a lot with that one…

I’ve never experienced grief. Well, not a great unexpected loss. My mother was a ‘single mother’ (that’s a topic for another post, I see you DCUM ladies who give me hell for that! (: ) & I grew up living with her & my two great-grandparents. My Abuela & Di (a funny nickname that I can’t even begin to explain) passed away when I was in college. It hurt, a lot. Especially my Abuela, I remember her rocking me on our front porch, I remember that she always smelled like baby powder & now that I have daughters of my own I can see how much effort she put into contributing to give me a happy childhood. We didn’t have a lot of money, (although I never knew it) & one year I remember her making me doll furniture, a chair & a couch, crafted out of paint stirrers. You know the ones they give you when you buy a gallon of paint? She sawed them, nailed them & painted them, & I loved them & her for it. I know that kind of grief, the lump in your throat, the longing for one more day, but they were both well into their 90’s. I’m sure in the back of all of our minds we were preparing our hearts little by little.

Divorce is so similar yet so very different. It boggles me to be honest, which is what I wanted to ask you…

My birthday is this week, it’s also the one year anniversary of the day I was asked for a divorce. Those first few months in my new life with children but no him were horrible. For weeks I woke up in the morning with immediate nausea, man that sucked. I cried a lot. I even tried to find a way to make it work, but eventually that passed. There has been stress & anxiety with all these issues you have to one by one resolve when you dissolve a union, a contract really, but that wound is every so gingerly healing. It takes a long time to stop looking for someone else to make you feel better. It’s like he was my well for the last 16 years & that instinct to look for him to quench my thirst took a very long time to break. I haven’t dated at all. I wanted to learn how to believe in myself, how to fulfill myself through God, family, friends but most of all through a new sprouting strength who I’m just beginning to see pop out of the soil. (man there’s a lot of plant analogies in here, can you tell I’ve been gardening?) What good am I to someone else until I am already fulfilled? That’s my take on it anyway.

Ok, off tangent, focus Natasha, focus.

Usually when I’m driving I think about what I have to do, what I want to do, what I’ve already forgotten to do! Lately however I find my mind wandering through the past, some of it are the things I miss about our family before, even that I miss about him, but by far most of my thoughts are of photographs. Me as a child looking out our screen door, Sam’s 1st birthday standing next to her rocking horse in the first outfit I had sewn for her, Sophie on my hip while I was cooking a pot of spaghetti sauce, & of course of Peter & me. This morning on the way I drove by a family moving in to their new house. I immediately thought of the last day in our old house. We asked the movers to take a photo of us in front of the house, I very vividly remember the excitement. It didn’t cross my mind that soon I’d be here with just the girls. spaghettiedit kittiesedit

spicysoph2 80sgirldone For the first 6 months of our separation I would sometimes yearn for life to go back to those days after I thought of the different pictures of our journey together, but now when I see the pictures it still stings, but deep down I know I’ll know that past was real, it was a huge part of my life, but now there is a new road, and my future is bright & has boundless joy awaiting for me. IMG_0456edit

Do you ever think in photographs?

(Oh! I’m also trying to get into a new career field that I really think would make me happy & be using my pre-SAHM marketing experience but that sure was a long time ago, geez I feel old. Wish me luck!)

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A week of me.

by Natasha on March 28, 2016 in mommy blog

*sigh* Right about now I’m guessing my girls are waiting in line for a ride on Aladdin’s magic carpet…for the 7th time in a row.

We agreed P would have Spring Break this year so he took the little princesses to their mother ship, Disney.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful that not only can Sam & Soph spend their Spring Break at their favorite place on Earth but they have a Dad who wanted & could take them there. I would have loved that when I was their age, it’s a good thing. I just miss them. A lot.

I knew this trip was coming so I had plenty of time to prepare myself. I thought about going to Florida & visiting my family, but the thought of being only 45 minutes away from my girls, and I can’t be there with them, I thought it would be too hard.

One bright spot of being in your 30’s, at least for me, is I’m getting to know myself better. I’m starting to be honest with myself about who I am & what my weaknesses are. When life gets tough I know I have tendency to hideout in my shell. Being by yourself or staying home an entire day, or even days, can be a good thing. Sometimes it’s ok to not want to talk to anyone, to just be quiet with yourself, but it can also be dangerous. Well, that might be a bit dramatic although I suppose anything in excess can be “dangerous”. Regardless I’m forcing myself to make this week count & to not let it be 7 days which I just have to get through.

The girls got a little weepy before they left & I sensed that they might even be a little worried about how hard a week apart might be on their mom. I certainly want them to enjoy this time, it’d be bad parenting to say the least if I fed into that worry & allowed an unspoken guilt trip to take away from their vacation. So instead I assured them that I was going to be super busy & it was going to be a good week for me as well. I also rattled off a few chores like “carpet shampooing” & “cleaning out the refrigerator” so they wouldn’t feel like they were missing out on anything. Of course the truth is a week apart is hard on me, what parent wouldn’t feel that way? So this week I am going to make myself do those boring grownup responsibilities like cleaning out the girls’ closets & yes, I am actually going to shampoo the carpets, (Wow, lol, I just realized how incredibly sad that sounds!) but I also thought it would be a good idea to spend some time doing a little mental house cleaning. That includes not only reflecting on this past year (I actually don’t want to do any more of that) but also seriously thinking about what I want the upcoming year to look like. What the heck am I going to do with my life now? I was really happy being a SAHM & if this divorce had never happened I would have thought I was pretty confidant of what the future might look like. I had thought about maybe having another baby, & with Sophie starting school it could have been a good time for that. I’m 35 with no real career to fall back on & two children. Wow. That was a scary thing to say out loud! I immediately had a reflex to delete that statement but then I thought, “you can’t delete that, because no matter how brutal it sounds to you, it’s the truth.” Thirty five is still the age they start considering you a high risk pregnancy right? This May I’ll be passing right on by the marker of my fertility expiration date & since I have ZERO intention on getting into a serious relationship anytime in the near future, my eggs are moving from the refrigerator to the freezer. Ugh.

I do have faith & hope that in hindsight one day I’ll understand why life took this path or at the least it will make a little sense. For today however the road ahead seems covered with fog & the only thing I can do is be willing to let God lead me in the right direction.

There is one thing I know I won’t be doing this week or anytime soon, & that’s sharing anything negative about P.

A few of you commented on social media that my last post wasn’t just telling you about an awful ordeal I had been through but that it was sad to see me ‘hit back’ with the man who isn’t just my ex, he’s my girls’ father. And you’re 100% right. Sometimes I forget how public the internet is, as stupid as that sounds. Dragging P through the mud isn’t just inappropriate because he’s their dad, it’s dragging me down as a person as well. It’s not who I want to be. Not who I want my daughters to see me as, and not how I want to be an example. Like it or not, the way we have and are handling our divorce is an example to others & while I want to be transparent, (and plan on continuing to be) I also want to be a good example. To you and to them.

SO. Where does that leave us? Well, it leads me with a list of Monday’s ‘to-do’s’ & I’m only half way through. Although I can now cross off posting this. (;

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pocket change

by Natasha on January 11, 2016 in mommy blog

Have you ever turned to a tv show to help understand what’s happening in ‘real life’?

I certainly hope you’re answer is ‘yes’ otherwise this has the distinct possibility of sounding quite ridiculous.

In college, for me, it was without a doubt Sex & the City. I was Carrie with a dash of Charlotte & P was always Mr Big. I found comfort in all of their break-ups & the inevitable draw back to each other. I found comfort watching him hurt her, as messed up as that sounds. Even when he married someone else (who happens to have a beauuutiful name & I do not mean ‘the idiot stick figure with no soul‘) or even after standing her up at the altar in the movie, I still wanted them together. I wanted him to make it right, to win her back. I guess even more than I wanted to see that he was her ‘one’ I loved seeing that she was his.

My dear friend Megan recently mentioned to me that I might like “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce” on Bravo. It only took one of those first awful weekends without my kids to binge watch season 1. While I kind of hate the show for glamorizing what is such a destructive & horrible event in people’s lives I once again found comfort in seeing the woman’s own journey which so closely mimicked mine. She built her career around being the woman who knew it all when it came to marriage, pregnancy, motherhood…and now, divorce? I can relate. On a much teeny tinier level…of course.

I don’t know what this blog will become, if anything. There is a lot of pressure to hurry up & figure out what my new life will be. It’s kind of crazy when you break it down. It took me 8 years of marriage & 6 years of children to build this life & now in 12 months of separation I’m supposed to create a new life for my children & for myself. It’s not fair. It’s not right. But it’s reality. And he has to do the same. I guess it’s the price we’re both paying.

Loving my girls & the love I receive in return from them is my biggest priority. If I’m being honest though, it also feels good to think about the possibility of something good coming from all this mess. It feels good when I share & then hear from you that it somehow it helped. It’s this wonderful yet sad cycle of hurt & healing that occurs when we choose to let eachother in & give without illusion or pride.

I think I just gagged in my mouth a little.

But seriously, maybe there’s a possible silver lining brewing here. Maybe, just maybe, something new will evolve. Something good that I didn’t expect.

My life has been turned upside down & shaken viciously, I’m hoping that Little Pink MonsterS might just be the positive pocket change that falls out. If I can be brave enough to get up & try again…

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Who you are

by Natasha on December 17, 2015 in mommy blog

On most days there comes a time, usually after school when the house is bustling & everyone is at home together, where my little angels, Samantha & Sophie, try to kill each other.

I’m serious you guys. Although not like, ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ one another, but certainly inflicting bodily harm kind of intentions. These two are best friends, worst enemies. It usually happens something like this, “NO! Sophie I had that doll FIRST! Give it BAAACK!” “No, you didn’t! Mommy! She snatched it!” “Mommy!!” “MOMMMMMMMM!!!”

Then I have to do the stern mommy walk up the stairs, to the scene of the crime & I use my mommy spidey sense to figure out what really happened. I start to unravel the conflict by separating them & talking to each individually. The one who took it to the code red level will almost always get the “It’s not ok to (insert crime here, ie hitting, kicking, yelling, smack talking & occasionally tongue sticking out at) I understand that she made you very angry, and I’m going to talk to her about that, but I want you to think about what you could do differently next time something like this happens. You can come & talk to me instead. I will always help you work it out. There is always a ‘higher road’ to solve conflict, it may not be the easiest, & shoving your sister might feel good for a second but you’ll pay for it later, even if she deserved it. YOU are in control of your actions. YOU are in control of what happens after someone hurts you, even if what they did was so very wrong.

You see where I’m going with this?

After being married for 8 years & knowing my husband for literally, a decade before our marriage, I never, in a million years, thought he would be capable of hurting me so much. Every week it is a fight to not let the anger take over. Oh my friend, I SO see how women go through a nasty divorce & somehow turn into a cesspool of resentment towards men. How does Taylor put it? “I still have scars on my back from your knife” There’s been a lot of Taylor playing in my mini van. How a twenty-something can so perfectly articulate every bad relationship any female on the face of the planet has experienced, I do not know. But I’m glad she does.

My point is this, when you are faced with what feels like an insurmountable situation, is when you really find out who you are. I was me during the happy years, & I was me during those tough years but they did not truly strip away all of the cozy layers we often wrap around us to feel better. Nice cars, pretty shoes, a dream home…all things that I had to make me feel better. Even when we would be going through a tough patch, I still found comfort in the thought that we were still us, he would come back to me eventually. I even relied on my children to soothe a wound. So yes, I was always “me” but it wasn’t until all of those crutches were stripped away, that I got to see who I really am. The same is true for him too, he’s been faced with a lot of hurt, which has turned into anger, & I’m seeing who he really is. Although I still hope that he’ll find a better way.

Do you watch ‘The Voice’? I love that show, the girls & I made that ‘our show’ & there were so many beautiful performances that spoke to my heart & brought me to fighting back tears. I probably downloaded a dozen of them to my itunes but by far, the one that I’ve played over & over was Jordan Smith’s performance of Jessie J’s “Who you are”

I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf
No, no, no, no

Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah
The more I try the less it’s working, yeah,
‘Cause everything inside me screams, no, no, no, no, yeah

Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
But tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising
There’s nothing wrong with who you are

Yes, no’s, egos, fake shows
Like woo, just go, and leave me alone
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight
With a smile , that’s my own
That’s my own, no, no, no, no, no

Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising
Just be true to who you are, yeah, yeah, yeah

There will come a time when this battle will be over. Whether we settle or go to court eventually it will be done. I believe that one day my heart will heal, one day I’ll be loved the way I deserve & when this is finished & the dust has settled I do not want to look back with shame & regret. “Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart, tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising, it’s okay not to be okay.”

My heart breaks when I think of our children & what their innocent little hearts are being put through, just typing that put a lump in my throat because I can’t protect them from experiencing the inevitable consequences that occur when a marriage ends. So when I’m faced with pain, yet again, instead of following the path of anger & striking back I think of my girls & in those moments where I’m in that storm of emotions & I want to hurt back so he can feel what I’m feeling, I try very hard to instead think of Sam & Sophie. They are my compass that directs me out of the storm. The one thing that always immediately trumps those ugly intentions is knowing that the best thing I can do for them is to be their rock. I can be the steady ship in the storm we’ve all found ourselves in. Giving in to revenge, anger & resentment not only will do me no good in the long run but it would also take a part of me away from my girls when they need all of me more now than ever. When they’re older & they’re looking back on this time difficult time the best thing I can do for them is to be an example of strength, forgiveness, compassion & unconditional love. Don’t get me wrong, this is something I have to remind myself of almost every day & I’m not perfect, I don’t always get it right, but, “it’s okay not to be okay. Sometime’s it’s hard, to follow your heart, tears don’t mean your losing, everybody’s bruising, just be true to who you are.”

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My Good Nook :: DIY built-in kitchen banquette bench

by Natasha on October 10, 2015 in tutorials

It’s funny, I sat down to write this post & I typed, “I bet you were probably starting to wonder if I was going to post again…” but then I thought, Hmmm, that sounds mighty familiar. And I’d be right. It is familiar. Because it’s exactly how I started my last post!

I wish I had a better answer that easily & concisely explained where my head has been for the last few months, but somehow I think you already know. I’ve never done this before, (and certainly hope to never do it again) and I’ve almost felt…FROZEN.

Please don’t sing, ‘Let it Go.”

Please. Seriously, stop.

Do you want to build a snowmannnnn?? Yup, in my head now. All. Day. Long.

I do know this, even though now is an incredibly hard time in my life it’s OK that I don’t have all the answers. I’m learning to take a deep breath & whewwwwww, let it all out. It’s in that honest, raw & vulnerable place that I’ve found a Peace Which Transcends All Understanding.

Six months ago I had a pretty good idea of what I thought my future would look like & now, for the first time in my life, I don’t know. What I have learned is that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck. I’m ready to move forward anyway even if it’s vastly different than what I envisioned. No more frozen. No more letting the actions of others dictate my life & keep me from truly enjoying my amazing baby girls & the unconditional love I get from them, my family & my wonderful friends. Speaking of great friends, I also have a huge hug for everyone who has taken it upon themselves to reach out to me. I’m truly floored by all of the emails, comments, tweets & messages that so many of you have been kind enough to send me. We haven’t met in person yet somehow you saw the good in me. You know who I am, and more importantly, you know what I’m not. Your encouraging words have picked me up & carried me until I could every so carefully get back on my feet. And now that I’m beginning to move forward in my life I can tell you, I have read every single word (sometimes two or three times!) & I thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (:

Part of that moving forward which you inspired has also helped me to remember how much I love this space. Whether it’s a message from my heart or creating something beautiful with my girls, LPM brings me joy. Plain & simple.

It wasn’t hard to find a kickstart project either. I wanted a nook. Something cozy yet sturdy enough for everyone…

Just in time for sweater weather, morning coffee, carving pumpkins & making memories.

Pinterest is great resource for inspiration & catchy little tricks to implement. I went for the secret drawer compartments. How great would they be for your nice dishes, large pots or awkward appliances? Ooo, or what about the pull out drawer for your kids to be able to get their own arts & crafts goodies?? Yes, yes, I like where this is going…

There are also lots of great tutorials if you want to do the entire piece yourself. I’m not quite there with my building skills so I had some help cutting & assembling the framework. For the cushions you can go one of two ways: 1) Sew a slipcover for your foam pieces. The obvious benefit here is you can take them off & wash them as well as it’s easy to create multiple covers with different fabrics. 2) If you cut out a second set of wooden top pieces you can use those to create a perfectly matched cushioned top for your bench. *tip* Foam can be very expensive. Look online or on your phone for coupons from your vendor. Many of them will also honor competitor’s coupons. I saved more than $200! I was able to easily cut the foam by using a serrated kitchen knife. I’ve also heard that turkey carvers work well, who’d have known right?! To keep the foam in place while I was stapling the fabric I used a spray adhesive to tack it down. Since I’m hoping this nook will be a place for not only eating but also crafts, play-doh, cooking & who knows what other dirty little hands activities, I chose a laminated cotton for easy cleanup. It’s a little stretchier than I would have liked & although vinyl might hold it’s shape better I just adore the Amy Butler fabric & would use it again. After a lot of tugging & stapling I had 5 perfectly sized custom bench cushions. Almost all of the decorative pillows I chose are made of Sunbrella outdoor fabric which is perfect for this project because it’s durability means it’s also kid-proof. Somehow it’s still plenty soft. Magic I suppose…

Why didn’t I do this sooner? Snuggle up anyone?

Amy Butler Fabric / Polka Dot Pillow / Sunbrella Pillows / Horse Pillow / Antler Chandelier

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