Let me just put it out there for you.
Before I had kids I got bikini waxes, brazilians if I was feeling crazy. This was something I did before I was married & I certainly saw no reason not to continue after. Something happened after I had kids though, for some reason it just stopped. In fact I distinctly remember my last wax, I was 9 months pregnant with Samantha & got one because I was super paranoid about being spread eagle in front of who knows how many hospital staff members. It was right up there with the fear of pooping on the table.
After that the thought would cross my mind from time to time to make an appointment, especially during the summer, but it never quite happened. Sure I kept things tidy, it’s never gotten quite as out of control as Miranda in Mexico with the girls…
Miranda: What? I forgot to wax!
Samantha: Since when? 1998?
But it certainly isn’t a priority & it got me thinking, why not?
I’m sure part of it is being married & we inevitably don’t always make as much of an effort to be sexy. Then there’s the whole situation of being so busy with kids that the last thing I have time for is chach maintenence but if I’m honest with myself even if I had the time would I still get brazilian waxes? (a straight bikini wax is pretty tame, I’m talking full hairless chihuahua here) My answer is “probably not.” It just doesn’t feel like me anymore. There’s something weird in my head about taking the kids to the playground knowing I look like “Debbie does Dallas” under my sweatpants.
So the question becomes is it innappropriate to do something as avertly sexual as a brazilian wax after you have kids? I’m assuming it’s only for your significant other to see so why should that be a problem? Perhaps instead of it actually being uncomfortable because that’s no longer who I am it’s actually that I’ve forgotten that side of me. Between the crayons, nursing bras, butt wiping & spit up stains have I become so disattached from my inner sex goddess that being sexual actually feels wrong?
I have to wonder, is there a new line when it comes to our sexuality after we have kids or out of evolving to our new lives did we somehow drop off parts of past ones?
Be honest with me, even if it’s anonymous. Do you still wax? Brazilian? Does your sex kitten still come out from time to time or has she been spayed, declawed & put on the euthanasia waiting list?
Cant go all the way to brazil anymore (just a little icky for me with two daughters now), but i have made it a priority again to keep things cleaned up (after three untidy years of motherhood). more of a landing strip if you will. no one sees it, but it makes me feel a little better about myself. sort of like a pedicure in the middle of winter hidden under your uggs.
I don’t have it done professionally but I do shave fully every few weeks. It isn’t for me so much but hubby sure gets excited when I shave because he knows what happens next 😉 Kind of like your own foreplay. He loves it because I am initiating.
I usually leave a landing stip as well 🙂 I make it a priority, this is something for me, and consequently, the husband 🙂 I have two children, a four year old boy and a nearly two year old girl. I only started to get a vax when I was pregnant with my boy and have continued ever since. It makes me happy and brings out my inner sexgoddess.
I agree with Lisa, I also think if you are going away some where special with hubby you could totally go all out 😉 but surprise him with it.
I haven’t done the full monte since for our honeymoon, although, I have been thinking about doing it again. We have one child (so far), but I know my husband would like it. I think it would help me to feel sexier honestly too, therefore helping boost things in the bedroom 😉 I know it may seem risque to do after you have children, but heck, if it makes things more fun for you and your husband, why not??
Kids change everything. Marriage changes everything. Everything changes as you age and certain things are no longer a priority – that’s just life. The state of your pubic hair has absolutely nothing to do with how sexy you are. Sure, it can enhance a visual image for your mate, but sexual prowess comes from within. I learned this because I cannot tolerate waxing (I break out into hives) or shaving (another rash) and had to learn to live with a full bush. Just because you don’t remove your hair, doesn’t mean you can’t be a complete and utter sex kitten. Attitude is everything and confidence is sexy.
I am bare and have been for as long as I can remember because I don’t think it’s comfortable or even sexy having hair. I also have 2 girls and I don’t feel weird about it at all and my husband prefers me the way I am too. I actually use an epilator which pulls your hair out entirely and it takes about a week to start growing back. When it grows back the hair is finer and less and less grows back every time. I also do this on my legs which is so awesome for me because even though I’m blonde, I’m pretty hairy. Yes the epilator hurts the first maybe 10 times you use it but the more you use it the more you are used to it. It’s interesting to hear what everyone else does but really, do what is comfortable for you. 🙂
This made me laugh, because I’ve only done waxing (bikini or legs) once in my life. For my honeymoon I decided that I didn’t want to worry about razors on our trip around Europe. It was horrible, and left me with patches of “scabby skin” where layers of my flesh had been peeled off! I’m sure my experience wasn’t normal, but it still wasn’t something I’d like to repeat frequently, Mommy or otherwise. I think though if you can handle the pain go for it! If you didn’t have kids you would be anyway.
Your question is similar to something I ask myself. “Do moms have piercings?” I’m still in my 20’s and took out my belly ring when I had my daughter, but now that the 2nd lil is baking I wonder “At what age do you have to take out a tongue ring?” (or any other piercing for that matter)
I got laser hair removal down there and I have never looked back. I got rid of EVERYTHING. It was something I decided to do before my wedding (my second wedding. My first husband died.) I already had two kids but I still felt it was important to keep up appearances, but that may be because I was back on the market. I have to say that after my 4th baby I’m soooo glad I go the hair removal because if I had to worry about making time to get a bikini wax it would NEVER happen.
I am so jealous of Alida! I get rid of everything, just because it’s not comfy for me otherwise, but it’s also out of habit I guess too. Although I think we should all bring back the full bush. I would spend so much less time in the shower 🙂
I definitely felt like I was just reading a Sex and the City script. I couldn’t have said it better. I have 20 month old twins and I don’t feel sexy anymore. I also feel like I am doing something wrong especially when they are napping and could wake at any minute.
Never have had a Brazilian. (It just sounds painful. Eyebows are bad enough.) I do shave everything though. I have done it for a long time, since I started biking. Feels better, cleaner. I think there may be a new line after you have kids, though there shouldn’t be. Sexually, we don’t do things differently, just less than we used too:)
First, in my mind I totally read “I have to wonder, is there a new line when it comes to our sexuality after we have kids or out of evolving to our new lives did we somehow drop off parts of past ones?” like Carrie would in SATC.
Second, I’ve never had a Brazilian, I’m just too chicken. I have shaved everything off, but man was it itchy when growing back!! Now I just use my husbands clippers to “maintain”. I think little things like waxing, or putting on makeup or doing your hair just seem to take a back seat. Its not necessary, but would be nice if we had time too!
I’ve never had a Brazilian and I have no desire to. I’ve only had 2 bikini wax’s and I like them but they can be expensive so I usually shave a bit on my own once in a while. I find it’s uncomfortable and itchy when hair is growing in so I just keep it tidy now.
I’ve only waxed once (and it was the full monty) for our 5 year anniversary. I keep things trimmed up. Mainly, if I’m going to spend that much money on grooming, it’s going to be on something that more people can see. I keep telling my hubby though that if he pays for it, I’ll do it.
I became a parent 6 months ago and this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot though as I come to terms with my shifting body and wondering what it’s finally going to look like — knowing it won’t be my old body. I’ve been thinking of springing for one myself, just to remind me that I’m still in here, under the diapers and breast pump, somewhere.
I’ve never even thought about waxing down there, my hubby loves it “natural” down there. I’ll repeat what other posters have said. The state of the pubic hair does not make one sexy and I frankly don’t understand why grown women are now expected to go around looking like little girls “down there”. The downside to being hairy is that I can’t wear skimpy bathing suits but fortunately/unfortunately I’m not built for that anyway. This was a great post by the way, and I love the barbie doll photo. Thank you for your honest and interesting writing. I love how personal your blog is. Keep up the good work!
For me it’s more the expense. I would love to go and have it done again but I just can’t justify spending that much money on my self. I don’t like clippers or shaving because it’s just so uncomfortable when it starts to grow back.
I did laser hair removal right after college for the bikini area, so post-baby that keeps itself in check. Totally worth it. The middle area that I used to keep nice is trim is out of control now that I have a kid. It definitely feels weird to sexify things down there, and when showers are limited to less than 3 minutes, it doesn’t leave much time for much more than clean hair and body…
I have shaved everything since I hit puberty. Seriously. I was like 13 and one day I got the bright idea to shave everything…even my arms. I don’t do that anymore, but I really am not a body hair person. However, I tried waxing once on my own and will NEVER do it again. I’d never be comfortable spread eagle to have someone remove my hair, though I wish I could be.
I got my bikini lasered and shave the rest. It’s hard to go back…
I drew the line when I realized waxing makes a grown woman look just a bit too much like a baby girl. There’s something a inexplicably wrong with that. “Hi Honey… why don’t you come make love to something that looks like I’m under the age of 12”. Bizarre if you ask me. Who makes this sh*t up, seriously? Men???
I’ve never gotten waxed before but I do shave. And when I am nine months pregnant and can no longer see my nether-regions I’ve had my hubby do it for me. [because I too worry the doctors might not be able to find my baby in there.] But I’ve never gone totally bare, it looks too much like a little girl to me [which is especially awkward now that I was little girls.] And I admit that I am no longer on top of it like I once was. Maybe its because I have more important things to do now. Maybe its because I know my husband loves me and is happy to have sex, no matter whats going on down there. Maybe its a combination of a lot of things. So don’t feel bad!
I have never gotten a wax. I’ve never been that comfortable with myself to go somewhere for that. After having kids and my chest looking like I was attacked by a puma and my stomach looking like something out of a Dr. Seuss book, I would not even consider it. I like it more natural and so does my husband. At any rate, I’m not sure if I’m just a wimp, but it sounds horrifically painful. Like, I’d-tell-you-where-my-grandma-hides-her-money painful. Is it as bad as it sounds?
I love this post, by the way. It is difficult to be a mother and maintain another identity.
I have never had a wax down there and just shave it myself..my man enjoys a little hair so so I just keep it up myself. The idea of laser hair removal sounds great for underarms or legs they always need to be shaved and would save me soo much time in the shower but I just don’t like the idea of hot wax being put there and then my hair quickly ripped off,smh no thank you 🙂
I don’t have children, and I do go full Brazilian, and I found this blog and it’s comments really interesting as I am seriously considering doing laser. I can’t imagine ever being comfortable with hair, I hate it. I also feel more confident without hair.
I have never had a wax down there. Not sure I would be ok with it. I just try to keep things clean and as simple as possble. For me and my husband marriage and kids have changed nothing. We still have passion and drive for each other. (It is just hard to find the time with 3 kids running around our house now!)
That was an awesome post. Thank you.
That said, I agree w/ the comment Lisa left when she said, “i have made it a priority again to keep things cleaned up (after three untidy years of motherhood). more of a landing strip if you will. no one sees it, but it makes me feel a little better about myself. sort of like a pedicure in the middle of winter hidden under your uggs.”
Its not that I enjoy waxing, but I find that its just an easier way to maintain it all. And in the summer, I take my kids to the pool all the time. So yeah, there is yardwork that is necessary. And I just keep up with it in winter, I guess? But not the full monty.
hey!
i’m not married nor do I have kids but in my opinion, you’re never too old to be sexy!!
LET OUT YOUR INNER SEX GODDESS and GO get those waxes again, for the love of god!!
You don’t want to be the old couple who NEVER has sex anymore because you guys have let yourselves go! 🙂
Even though sometimes you may not be in the mood or you may not feel sexy or sexUAL for that matter, you still want to show off your hot side to your husband (even though he already thinks your the hottest woman in the world) you need to remind him why you’re so hot, guuurl! plus it’ll keep the spice and the sizzle alive.
I say, go get that wax TODAY 😀 hehe.
-Jessica.
I dont wax but i shave. im so scared to go to waxed by a stranger :/
full bush, but very very neat. I did shave once, but my boyfriend wouldn’t come near me for a week – too childlike. I know what you mean though, I had my first baby last March and have never felt less attractive or desireable in my life. Depressing…
Great, honest post. Funny thing is that it seems to me to be more of a discussion for women due to post-baby feelings rather than the actual waxing. I agree! Pregnancy and motherhood is about an unsexy as anything. That alone took a huge toll on my marriage. Now, 9 years later, I am finally remembering who I am. What’s even more interesting is I have recently considered doing this. Yikes! I’m nervous.
I swear I could hear Sarah Jessica Parker’s voice over as I read that! I got my first brazillian for my wedding and haven’t ever looked back. I have 2 little girls now and although I don’t get it done as regularly as I used to I still do it as often as I can. Not just for sexiness, but I feel blech when I don’t get it done. I leave a little strip at the front but that’s about it. It’s pretty much the only thing I get done for myself and I definately don’t think it’s wrong to be sexy when you have kids! If you feel confident as a mother and as woman it can only be a positive role model for your kids when they grow up =)
I don’t have kids, so I really can’t comment but I just have to say that this post was HILARIOUS! I have to say though, I bet if you go get one you will feel 100x sexier, and your husband will be thanking you! That can be hidden under your sweat pants, but do wonders for your confidence.
I wish we could step in a booth with whatever hair we want to keep somehow protected (for me, eyebrows, eyelashes, and scalp – that’s it!) then all other hair (pubes, upper lip, pits, etc.) would be GONE. I hate pubes and I’m always “baby girl” down there, either by shaving or waxing (splurge). My worry though, is that my daughter will be shocked when she sprouts pubes! I’ll just have to be open about it, but I was used to seeing my mom’s big 70s bush so there were no surprises.
I used to get a Brazilian before I had my 16 month old daughter but have been slacking ever since. Plus I just don’t feel like spending that much anymore. I have a girlfriend who bought her own wax warmer and said that she waxes herself. I can’t bare to wax myself but I did buy my own wax warmer and my husband now does it for me lol. I put the wax on and he pulls it off. I don’t have the balls to pull it off myself but I guess my hubby doesn’t mind. He likes it bare and so do I so if he’s willing to help I’m all game.
Oh man….this is funny. I know exactly what you mean by not feeling it anymore after kids. I feel the hubs comes first, even though it’s hard to make that happen and I fail a lot to abide by that rule. As women and mama’s I think we should do our best to not let go of the part of us that turned on our man before babies. It might take a little extra time to do upkeep or maintenance, but how special do we feel when our man does something ‘special’ for us. I think it’s worth the pain to wax, hands down!!
I still wax faithfully every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes a little further out…
But: I don’t have children. However, I just don’t like the way all that foliage down there feels/looks. I’ve been with the same partner for about 4.5 years and he doesn’t mind one way or the other really, but I do it for me really.
I loathe shaving and haven’t done that in years, nor will I ever again. That’s cruel and unusual to do to that area of your body. The razor bumps, ingrown hairs and intense itching that accompanies shaving… no thanks!
I’m actually going to stop waxing soon… once I find a spa nearby that does sugaring… sugar???? down there??? no seriously…
I have a friend who gets sugared in Los Angeles and says its less painful than waxing (although waxing does NOT hurt me AT all, especially if i keep up with regular appointments, and when i go regularly, the hair doesn’t even always grow back in completely and it seems to stay a lot easier to get out, finer, if you will)
she also says sugaring is gentler and she’s never had a bad experience, or a single ingrown hair since sugaring. It looks like a nicer way to go (a big ball of sugar wax, rolled over and then rolled off)
So yeah. I don’t think I’ll stop once i have kids… because i really do it for ME and not for him.
I keep it tidy with razor and scissors. (but still some hair left, because I think it’s really weird without hair). And my husband does the same. Nothing changed after we had kids. Still like to rock the bed. When they were still sleaping in the afternoon, we had our sundaysex (still missing that). I don’t feel different with kids, just a bit more tired 😉
After the kids were born (c-section twice) we had sex again after 4 weeks. I was craving for it. My body didn’t change that much.
I was (before I had my 2.5 year old 🙂 an esthetician, and I mainly did brazilians. It’s funny, the people who came to me for waxing wasent who you’d think. I had TONS of librarians, teachers….and then Mom’s. I rarely had high power execs types or “dancers” etc. I shave every other day…I always have and I prefer it that way. I used to shave daily but I dont always get showers daily now LOL. I unfotunetly dont have any sex kitten left because I’m still like 40lbs heavier then I was pre baby…and I dont think I look good anymore, and my husband never asks me to look sexier or anything so I feel like I need to lose the weight before I am a sex kitten again! I have a 2.5 year old and a 12 month old so I’ll get there soon :O)
Also, it will hurt no matter your hair removal method (except shaving). Pulling your hair out at the roots hurts no matter what!
Wow what an interesting topic! I’ve never waxed before… I’ve thought about it but starting at this point seems too nerve wracking. Plus it was never really an option when I was younger and living in a small town – but no excuses now that I live in a big city! Yet I have no idea how one goes about finding a legit place for that. lol. Also the cost surely deters me. I think marriage and a toddler make it sound more appealing to do something drastic (in my case) like that… but I think I’m too much of a wimp to do it on my own!
You should just go for it! Find a place that looks like nice & like they know what they’re doing. Crappy places tend to use wax that’s too hot or cheap which could hurt you much worse. Also take two advil first (:
Grown women can make their own decisions. But one has to wonder where the idea that a hair-free pubic area is sexy came from. I’ve read that it comes from child pornography. That the sight of a hairless pubic region is erotic because it’s a child being photographed. Well, I for one, refuse to participate in anything that promotes or even hints at child pornography. God made grown women to have pubic hair. The whole shaving/waxing thing is, in my opinion, a denial of what God created to be good. He invented sex, He invented adults to be the way they are, He said it was all good (between a married man and woman, that is). And that includes the pubic hair. I would be suspicious of any man who desired his woman to have a hairless pubic region – where and how did he develop that liking? As for me, no thank you. I’ll stay as God intended.
I don’t pay as much attention to my thatch anymore. In part it is because I’m not feeling as sexy as I did pre-labour, pre-breastfeeding, pre-tired. And the other part relates to not wanting my daughter (nearly 4) see myself waxed within an inch of my life. I would rather she see “normality” at home – rather than something fake.
I would love to get laser down under. Not all my hair just leave the landing strip. I wax because I hate razor bumps and the itchiness of regrowth. My friend uses an epilator and said it hurts for a while but now she doesn’t feel it. I’m not so sure about that. I also have a mustache trimmer. The funny thing is that I don’t do any of this for my husband. I do it because my kids take swimming lessons and I’m often in the pool with them year round. I never know when I’ll need to put on a suit!