Small Bites

by Natasha on April 29, 2014 in mommy blog

I’ve had an “ah-ha” moment…again. I feel like I’ve had a lot of those lately & I’m curious if me documenting this journey is helpful for you, or even entertaining. It’s very cathartic for me but I so wish I could pop my head through the screen & see who that is on the other side reading about my life. Blogging can be such a healing, communicative, wonderful medium but it can also be downright bizarre!

I see it’s been 12 days since I’ve posted, my first feeling when I see that is complete disappointment but on the flip side I’m learning a really cool lesson, actually I’d even call it a lifestyle change…I’m learning to take ‘Small Bites’. I’m no longer planning out my days & weeks in advance hoping to find some peace by forging a path of extreme organization & diligence that will lead me to my place in life, because isn’t that what we’re all looking for, instead I’m going to take life one nugget at a time.

To properly explain I should probably fill you in on the past 12 days…

So you know how I did the Easter Egg segment on TV last week with the girls? It was amazing, like, wow, dream come true where I just have to pinch myself because I can’t believe this is real life, & I got to bring my girls on TV with me, how ridiculously cool is that?! BUT, there is a catch. Those segments, even though they’re only 4-6 minutes long, take a ton of preparation. They usually air on Thursdays & I’d say it takes the entire week to prepare. I won’t get into all the details, all the details aren’t important, I just want you to get that it was a week of high stress, albeit good stress, but stress nonetheless. I’m sure you can relate. Then we also had family come visit for the weekend, once again, wonderful happy times & I just love having them but there just is stress when you have company coming to stay. Then it was Easter, oh dear, Easter.

(That was “Mr John” in the bunny suit by the way, best $24.99 I ever spent!)

Four years ago I decided I wanted to host an Easter brunch & egg hunt at our house. When we first moved here I had almost no friends so once we had a little handful of friends who had kids that were friends with our children I felt a need to strengthen our social circle by having people over our home. It makes me happy & I think it’s good for our family, it gives us roots & support. Annual Halloween & Christmas parties were already taken so I decided to claim Easter & make it an annual brunch & egg hunt. As gatherings you’re hosting can be, it was stressful, but always so much fun.

As time went by our family began to settle & grow & by last year we ended up having 40 people over our house on Easter! FORTY. My house is not big people, it’s a pretty average medium size house. It was also raining so we couldn’t even use our deck or outdoor space to help give people some room to breathe. It was amazing to see all these wonderful people that we’ve grown to love & share our lives with but it was also really overwhelming. All that to say this Easter, because of last year & also because I’m trying to consider my health limitations we still had the egg hunt & brunch but it was MUCH smaller. Only the morning show, my family that was here already & two friends with their kids. It was small but SO much fun, truly one of those days where at the end you plop down on the couch, look around & go, wow, that was really nice! BUT it was still work, it was preparation of food, shopping for eggs not to mention it was still a full day of being “on” which I now know being “on” for too long doesn’t go so well with my body. Once again, not complaining, this is all ‘fun stress’ but I’m learning even ‘fun stress’ isn’t good if you have too much of it. (Oh if only I had the innate laissez-fare of Sophie)

I went to bed Easter night feeling extremely tired but also extremely relieved that my marathon week was over. I could finally relax…at least that’s what I thought.

On Monday morning I woke up at 4am with a raging migraine. The kind where any movement causes these horrible throbs of clutching pain across my forehead & down my neck, I took my regular migraine medicine (I’ve had migraines since I was a kid & almost always one dose of Imitrex completely resolves my headache) & tried to quietly get into the shower without waking the peacefully sleeping munchkins that had at some point crawled into my bed during the nights, & sat with the hot water running over my head, hoping it would off a little relief while I waited for the medication to kick in. I also remember eating crackers…in the shower. The thought was a little food would help the medication get digested & also help prevent any nausea. I’m chuckling now at the visual, I can’t be the only person who eats in shower, right?

After the hot water ran out I got out of the shower, wrapped my head in a towel & snuck back into bed. I was able to dose off for two hours until around 6:30a when Sam woke up. I opened my eyes to her tapping me, “Mama? Mamaaa? Wake up!”, & as soon as my eyes opened it truly felt like a truck was sitting on my head. You know when they ask you at the doctor how you’d rate your pain? (I hate that question by the way, it’s so subjective & I never know how to answer) This was for sure a “9”. I stumbled downstairs, grabbed a bad of frozen berries from the freezer & buried myself on the couch with the ice cold bag on my head. Thank goodness my Dad, Stepmom & sister were all still there because I just knew this was one of those migraines that would absolutely debilitate me & since the Imitrex obviously hadn’t worked I knew I needed to go to the ER. I asked my Dad to take me & then went through the drill of IV meds used for migraines & also nausea medication since I couldn’t stop vomiting, so much for the shower crackers, for the next 4 hours. Eventually the hospital meds re-hydrated me & did make enough of a dent in my migraine that I was able to go home & sleep for a few hours, every so slowly over the next 24 hours my migraine dissipated & I followed up with my doctor the next day. He said without a doubt the migraine was my body reacting to all of the stress. Even though they were all fun things, things I wanted to be happening, they were still stressful & the migraine was my body’s way of flicking the bird to my brain, shutting off the engine & saying “Screw you, I’m out.”

This experience left me in a really confusing position. How am I supposed to live my life, chase my dreams & give everything to my family if I also have to pull back so my body doesn’t hate me for it? After my doctor’s appointment I came home & the TV was on E!, I saw a promo for ‘Giuliana & Bill’ & I thought to my myself, “How does SHE do it? She’s throwing herself into her career, (the promo showed how during her reality show she was also getting ready to launch a clothing line…in addition to HER REALITY SHOW) raising a baby & also beating breast cancer. THIS DOES NOT ADD UP! What am I doing wrong that I can’t pursue work, be a great mother, & also understand my bodies’ limitations? Of course in God’s perfect timing, the next day I had my monthly appointment with my therapist/life coach who I’ve been seeing to help guide me through all of the emotions & changes since receiving my diagnosis at Mayo Clinic.

As soon as we sat down I told her, “Listen, I know we only have an hour so let’s get to it, I need to know, how do I pursue life to the fullest when I also have a body that has far more limitations than my mind does? I have so many opportunities & open doors right now, how do pursue them when I’m not allowed to push?”

I was pretty surprised by how quickly & easily she was able to answer that question, while I don’t remember her exact words it was something along the lines of this…

First, in order to function at your body’s full capacity, whatever that is, you need to be in optimal health. Whether it’s Dr’s instructions, exercise, paying attention to what you eat, or knowing your body’s threshold your first priority needs to be making sure you’re operating with a full tank of gas. Second, it’s ok to take ‘small bites’ when it comes to acheiving your dreams. It’s ok to take it one day at a time, to see your end goal & take little nibbles, as you can, to get there.

When she said that a wave of relief came over me.

When I think about everything I want to do right now it’s so easy to be completely buried at the thought of accomplishing it all, much less doing it with the asterisk of “don’t push yourself too much unless you want to end up in the hospital again.” I’ve found that it’s then all to easy for me to swing to the other end of the pendulum & just do nothing. This thought of ‘small bites’ though, whether it’s one task at a time, one day at a time, heck maybe even one hour at a time, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing if you want to change your life. It can be brick by brick, as you can & before you know it you’ve built your dream house.

Before this ER visit followed by my revelation in therapy I had been trying to plan out my life weeks at a time & you know what, I usually just ended up disappointed in myself for not being able to achieve it, or even worse I did push myself & then felt physically ill from trying too hard. Now though I’ve taken the guessing game out of how far I should push myself & in what direction out of it. I’m letting my faith lead me one day at a time.

I hope I didn’t just lose some of you by sharing that but it’s my honest truth & that’s what we do here on LPM, we don’t sugar coat it & we don’t censor ourselves, we share our unedited truths, however they may look.

While I have this vision of what I’d like my future to look like I truly believe that being on the path God has set for me, even if it looks different than what I’ve envisioned, will be what brings me true happiness & peace in the end. So with that in mind, just like having that ‘sweet spot’ of time with my girls every day, (which is still a work in progress by the way) now I also have a moment of quiet thankfulness every morning. I realize how granola, hippy trippy that might sound but I SWEAR to you it makes a true difference in my day.

It goes a little something like this…after I get home from taking the girls to school, before the tasks of the day take over, I sit down (I always look for the where the sun is shining in my house, there’s something about literally sitting in the light that makes me feel closer to God) & I sit, with my eyes closed & my hands open. Literally open your hands as if someone is handing you a gift. (because guess what, they actually are) Next, no matter how unthankful I feel at that moment I start to thank God, outloud, for everything I’m thankful for. An interesting thing usually happens when I do this, there’s something about saying outloud everything you have in your life that is wonderful that changes your perspective. For instance my mornings lately have been so hard with Sophie. Everything is a battle, putting on socks, getting your backpack, choosing the clothes…I don’t know how many times I do the warning count to 3 each morning…but when I’m in the process of thanking God for her I’m forced to list off everything I love about her…her strength, her zest for life, her mind that almost always sees life through an iridescent, sparkling bubble of Sophie-ness…can you see how this can change the way your morning was heading? (PS-It also works wonders for how you might be thinking about your spouse that day.)

My morning ‘quiet time’ isn’t just about reminding myself of what I’m thankful for, it’s also a time I ask God to lead me to what He wants for me that day. With those open hands, and now an open thankful heart, I pray everyday that God will use me as a vessel to help someone, somehow. There have been a few times where by doing this, by leaving behind the preconceived idea of where I wanted that day to lead me I’ve been able to experience an amazing circumstance where God used me to help someone in a way I didn’t see coming. I can tell you right now, that feels so much better than being able to check off any ‘to do’ list I had set for myself.

Of course there are still things that need to be scheduled, lists that need to be made & ‘checked off’, but as for ‘my path’ that I’ve been stressing so much about sprinting down I’m trying a new way of walking blindly. Somehow not knowing where I’m going is a heck of a lot more peaceful than seeing where I want to be & stressing about how to get there.

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Four NEW ways to decorate Easter Eggs!

by Natasha on April 17, 2014 in tutorials

There is something to be said for the nostalgic PAAS pack of little dye pellets, a wax crayon & a wonky wire scooper, I have a lot of good childhood memories with those kits, but this year I know too much. I’ve seen more glitter in my life & had more dye stained on my hands than hopefully any of you ever will but I’m here to say there is more, oh so much more, you can do with a little white egg! Below you will find all four techniques to create the eggs in the picture below along with two videos & tons of tips & tricks just in time for your Easter egg dyeing!First, I just can’t wait any longer to show you Sam & Sophie’s TV debut where they created a few of the eggs! (which even if you could care less about eggs you totally need to watch, I don’t think anyone heard a word I said because those two were so stinking cute to watch! Sophie’s face cracks me up to no end, I cannot believe she stayed still for so long. P later told after we got home from the TV station that “I never would have had the balls to take two kids on live TV, I didn’t want to scare you before but now I can say I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!” Lol, so glad he chose to keep that to himself pre-shooting!)

We also weren’t able to get to the ‘nail polish marbling’ technique on the show which is a shame because it really is fun to do with kids & the eggs come out AMAZING so when the girls & I came home from the station I took advantage of us all being camera ready & we make a little You Tube video on how to marble eggs:

Now let’s go back to the beginning & start with expanding on the basics, dyeing the eggs. I learned through this blog posting from Not Martha that I could dye my eggs with food coloring instead of the pellets & achieve beautiful vibrant results instead of the waiting 15 minutes just to get pastel blue the old school way. I actually already had two packs of the PAAS dyeing kits so I went ahead & used those as my dyeing containers but any disposable cup would be just as easy. I didn’t have the exact same dyes as Not Martha so I veered from her recipe a little and did the following…I filled the largest Pyrex measuring cup I had with hot water & filled each of the containers so it would be just deep enough to submerge each egg. I also mixed two tablespoons of white vinegar into each. For the coloring I had to work with what I had which wasn’t much but we ended up being able to make…

Each cup had around 20 drops of dye total, for example turquoise was 10 blue + 10 green, purple was 15 red + 5 blue because the blue tends to be really strong…just fiddle with it, you really can’t go wrong. Also a note on food coloring, the gel ones rock & the natural ones suck. I desperately wanted the all natural to work for edible items I’ve made in the past but they just aren’t there yet, especially for a project like this. I really like the McCormick Neon 4-pack or the Wilton Jewel Color Set, those are fantastic for homemade play-doh!

Once the eggs are dyed it’s time for the fun! How about my favorite, glitter polka dot eggs! We’re getting crazy here people! So crazy it’s all in italics, WOOHOO!

Simmer Down, I know.

These are so simple you’re going to say exactly what I did when I saw them, duh, why didn’t I think of that?! Simply stick a double sided glue dot (these are often used for hanging papers or other light objects) to the egg & then sprinkle glitter over it, shake off the excess & that’s really it! So easy it’s ridiculous. (I used Martha Stewart’s Neon Glitter Set for mine, so pretty.) It’s also a project the girls really loved, the dots are a bit hard to manage since they’re sticky on both sides so I placed those first & then let the kids sprinkle on the glitter. They even rolled the eggs in the excess glitter on the plate to get every single spot. The glitter on the non-spotted area easily wiped off. Just make sure you’re using completely dry eggs.The chevron taped eggs are one of those things I saw on Pinterest & so wanted to make but then just couldn’t quite get right. I think my problem was the tape, this girl pulled them off beautifully but she used electrical tape which I know I bought because I remember seeing all the pretty electrical tapes at Lowes & thinking, “Oooo, pretty tape, but I don’t do anything electrical…but it’s purple!” & I bought it. Ironically now that I actually have a use for it I couldn’t find the darn thing anywhere. So I went with what I could dig up, some washi tape & some regular scotch tape. In the end I had two problems with the project…one, cutting all the pieces identically enough so the zig zags would look nice, that was turning out to be way more work than an Easter Egg should require. So I winged that part & it wasn’t too bad but what did kind of suck was the tape leaked. I’ll admit they do have kind of a cool 80’s rockstar vibe going, but not what I had in mind.

Here are a few more tips for marbling the eggs with polish that I didn’t mention in the video above: DO use a disposable bowl, fill it 3/4 of the way full with water

DO drizzle lines of polish across the water, you can use multiple colors if you’d like, just work quickly

DONT use glitter nail polish, it globs

DONT dip the whole egg at once, we learned the hard way that it would inevitably end up sticking to the surface it was left to dry on, not to mention the yucky sticky fingers…

DO dip one half at a time

DO swirl it around to create the ‘marbling’ effect

DO skim off any old polish on the surface before dipping the next egg

The final egg decor really doesn’t need a ton of explanation, I saw this post where she made cool lego eggs using temporary tattoos on eggs, so clever right? Turns out they stick to plastic or real eggs… You can buy about 1000 Easter tattoos on Amazon & let me just tell you, give your kid a sponge, a bowl of water, temporary tattoos & a pile of plastic eggs & you’re going to have a good 45 minutes of complete occupation. You’re welcome. Although one last thing to note, don’t leave your child alone with tattoos when they’re supposed to be on TV the next day, I do believe we’ll be finding Sophie a sweater to wear. Oops

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There is a Second Chance for Happily Ever After.

by Natasha on April 15, 2014 in mommy blog

My best friend got married this weekend! Normally this would be a fairly exciting thing to share, you would assume that this beautiful bride finally found her ‘soulmate’ & now that she’s found her one true love they can start their lives off together & live happily ever after…

Except there’s more to the story…and it makes it amazing!

I asked Meg if I could share her story on my blog because I knew it could give great hope to so many women out there who are currently in the situation she found herself in a few years ago. I was with Megan on the day she found out her husband had been unfaithful. I was with her in the following weeks & watched helplessly as everything in her world crumbled around her, it was horrible to see someone I loved go through so much pain, it broke my heart, I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to be her.

I met Megan 7 years ago when we bought our house, she was our real estate broker & when she showed up to take us house shopping in the exact same blouse from Express that I had I instantly knew I liked her. In fact, everyone who meets Megan likes her, she’s one of those people who you just know beyond a shadow of a doubt is a genuinely good person. Her cheerfulness is contagious & being near her makes you feel happier whether you want to or not. That was one of the saddest parts of seeing her going through her divorce, that sparkle went away. In fact, since I’ve lived here 3 of my good friends have gone through separations from their spouses & with every single one I wondered, “WHY THEM?!” They have all been pretty, kind, intelligent women who loved their families more than life itself but somehow woke up one day & realized their husbands’ wanted something else. Someone else.

So here’s the thing, I remember in the months after Megan & her husband separated that she & her kids spent a lot of time at our house. She has two little girls that are almost exactly the same age as Sam & Sophie so it worked out well that the kids could run around happily distracted & Meg & I could sit at my coffee table & talk. Or not talk, it came to a point where there was nothing more to talk about & all she could do was just sit, kind of like a shell of the girl I once knew. She went through the motions but that sparkle, heck even just a little bit of the light in her eyes was all but gone. I couldn’t tell you how many times P & I would tell her, “Meg, you’re a young, beautiful, smart woman who has so much to give, you’re going to get snatched right up as soon as you’re ready!” We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Megan would marry again. Somehow, and I can’t explain it, I just KNEW that at some point, maybe even just around the bend of the sad road she was on, was going to be a man that was not only going to adore & honor her but also would love her children as his on. I just knew it. I tried to tell Megan this but she just wasn’t capable of seeing it. Not only the thought of being able to give herself, her trust, to another man seemed unlikely but she just couldn’t see what kind of man would want to marry a thirty something year old woman with two kids. We could see it but it was a long time before she could.

The happy ending here is that time did go by & Megan did heal ever so slowly. During this time Meg not only found out how to move on but really found out who she was & just how strong she really was. In God’s perfect time she did find that man who we knew was out there, and I have to say, he’s even better than any of us expected.

(Nate presenting both of Megan’s girls with a necklace to remind them of his promise to take care of them as well)

(this is right about the time I lost it…me and everyone else!)

I have no doubt that Megan has found her happily ever after. Will there be bumps in the road? Of course, as there is with any relationship but this time, these two, I know will always cherish one another till death do they part.I don’t know why God’s plan was for Megan to find her ‘soulmate’ the second time around. I know she’s struggled with mourning the loss of her old idea of her ‘family’, but I also know that what she has now has made her so much more grateful for this new family. I know I have friends now who could use a story of hope, a real life example of how the dark sad place they’re in is actually not a dead end road, there’s a bend up there somewhere & around that corner is a new way, a new life, and it is beautiful. I hope this helps them…you.

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clean your plate: time to reheat the leftovers

by Natasha on April 8, 2014 in mommy blog

Were you here a week or so ago when I wrote about “Cleaning your plate”? One of the things I told you I was going to try & change was dedicating one hour, a “sweet spot”, of time every day to spending quality time with my girls. I’m at a point in my life where my plate is really overflowing with what’s happening, good and bad, & I found I was going to bed with guilt every day that my girls were just being dragged around my busy-ness & weren’t getting enough of my full attention. So the one hour each day sounded like a completely doable great idea, right? And it went that way for a few days, it was really wonderful but then I missed one, which then turned into two, which continued until here we are two weeks later & it’s totally not happening anymore. At my followup appointment with my therapist I answered honestly about this & told her I felt so guilty & moreso really frustrated & even hopeless that I couldn’t make my new commitment happen for even 2 weeks. My therapist’s answer however was awesome & has really changed the way I look at frustrating situations in my life. Instead of saying, ok, well you’re a terrible mother who’s priorities are out of whack & now you’re a failure (which is initially how I felt) or that this idea was obviously unattainable & should be scratched completely she took a different approach. She asked me, “Why do you think you didn’t spend that hour with the girls? What kept you from it?” I thought for a minute, thinking back to all the busy afternoons we’d had & what the heck I was so busy doing, & decided there were really three things that were repeatedly keeping me from spending that committed quality time with Sam & Sophie. They were:

Forgetting, Fatigue & what I like to call “The Afternoon Crunch”

We then went through each, one by one, & tried to find a way to make them a non-issue in the future.

Forgetting: There were days where I truly would flat out forget that after school we were going to be doing things differently. I would come home, put away the backpacks, let the dogs out, get the kid’s a snack, open the mail…and before I knew it I was back in the motions of the afternoon scramble. To prevent this I needed to make it a commitment, same as if it were any other appointment. It’s now in my daily calendar as a blocked off time which means just like my other events I’ll get a reminder every day & also in the morning when I check to see what’s on the schedule.

Fatigue: This is a tough one. Sometimes because of my health limitations I’m just totally spent by 3:30 & truly need to just lay on the couch for an hour or so. We talked about this for awhile & decided (much to my relief to hear someone else say) that on those days IT’S OK to set the girls up with a coloring project or put a movie on & just be “with them” even though I’m not able to be physically interacting.

“The Afternoon Crunch”: That’s what I’m calling all of those end of the day things that you just haven’t done yet. For example, the doctor’s office closes at 5 so you have to call them before they close, or you need to run to the grocery store because you didn’t go earlier & there’s nothing for dinner…I could come up with a hundred things that come up during that closing of the day crunch time. This is probably the hardest one to overcome & my therapist had a great explanation as to why that is.

Kid’s don’t have deadlines.

Spending time with your children is not something that if you don’t do that day you’ll get a late fee. It’s such a slippery slope too because it’s easy to think to yourself I can always spend time reading to my kids (or whatever your chosen quality time activity is) the next day & then sometimes, that next day can turn into another day & all too quickly it’s months that your kids have missed out on your quality time good intentions that never came to be. The only solution to this is it has to be a conscious choice that you make & then stick to. It’s about making a mental decision that this is important to you, to your values, & you’re going to do it. It will take planning around it just as if it were a meeting on your calendar that you couldn’t cancel.

And here’s the thing it won’t be easy. Another point my therapist made that was really helpful was to admit something that none of us parents want to say. “It is not fun to play with my kids” I know, I said it, & I’m slightly worried you might throw rocks at me through my computer screen but I’m afraid it’s true & I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. I HATE playing Barbies, I can do it for around 10 minutes before I find that I’m creating a scenario where Barbie takes a terribly suspicious plunge from the 3rd floor of her pink dream house. Here’s the good thing about admitting this, you’re a lot less likely to continuously make yourself do something you don’t enjoy, instead you can create a list of ideas which you can pull from that will be enjoyable for both you & your little one. It’s just like finding a way to exercise that you also like, you’ll be much more likely to commit to it. In the end, everyone wins. Except Barbie, which kind of makes me happy, that girl has everything.

Here are a few activity examples that we came up with which both the girls & myself can enjoy, keep in mind your list could be completely different than mine, whatever works for you & your kids is the goal.

Craft Projects are big for us. (duh) This would be anything from making homemade play-doh together to using a craft kit like the seasonal foam sticker ones from Michael’s or one of those cute sets Melissa & Doug make.

Art Work: If I’m not feeling great this is good one, I google whatever each of my kids are into that day & include the term “coloring pages”, (i.e. “monster high coloring pages” “fireman sam coloring pages” “butterfly coloring pages”) you’ll be amazed at how many free coloring pages are out there! All you have to do is print them out & you’ve got some new images (rather than that half colored coloring book you have that they’re tired of) that you can all sit down & color together. You’ll be surprised how therapeutic coloring as an adult can be!

Gardening: This is a bigger one but one I’m dedicated to making it happen. As soon as we’re in the clear from more freezes the girls & I are going to plant a cutting garden (strictly flowers) & I think it’ll be good for us to spend a little time outside everyday tending to our plant babies. This is my first garden so you better believe I’ll be on here blogging about the process & asking for your help!

Other quickies that I don’t mind are puzzles, using the play kitchen to play ‘restaurant’, hide & go seek, pretend cooking together or doing hair & nails. (I’d be clueless with a boy so if you have great boy ideas please leave them in the comments for the other boy mommies!)

So starting this week I’m starting again. It’s funny, I have been very gradually learning to look at my life & react to it a little differently than I have in the past. A few years ago in this situation I would have felt the same guilt but it would have stayed with me which often sabotages your efforts in the future, which creates more guilt, which puts you in a bad place to change anything, which creates more guilt…you see where that’s going. This time however when what I was trying didn’t work & I felt the guilt, instead of just focusing on that I had failed, my therapist showed me how to concentrate on figuring out why I failed & then breaking it down so I could see how to remedy it. I believe you could call that making a plan. And you know what, sometimes you have to change the plan mid-game, & that’s ok.

So many of you chimed in, even my close friends that I had no idea felt the same way, after the “clean your plate” post that I wanted to make sure I kept things honest & let you know how things were actually turning out, we’re in this together right? I like to think so. (:

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LPM on Let’s Talk Live: Spring Fashion for Everyday Moms

by Natasha on March 27, 2014 in mommy fashion, mommy outfit

Woohoo! I’m so excited the awesome ladies at ‘Let’s Talk Live’ loved this idea & let me roll with it!

I love my fashion magazines but I get so annoyed that all of the articles about the upcoming trends feature outfits made for wearing to an office, cocktail party or weekend in the Hamptons. What about us everyday moms who want to feel stylish & cute but also first & foremost need to be comfortable & practical? I don’t care how hot those 4″ platforms are, I will not be a happy mama after a day of toting two kids to the grocery store, Target, preschool & the playground & will then be mad for spending my money on something that isn’t practical for my real life. So I was thinking, why don’t we do a segment where we can take some of the hot Spring trends & translate them into pieces any of us could wear on any day?!

They loved the idea & after some scouting for great, practical looks & some AWESOME help from stylists at Free People & Nordstrom we put together a fun mini fashion show for everyday moms. You can watch the segment here & then look below for all of the outfits featured! I’d also love to here your fashion tips or favorite pieces for the Spring in the comments below!

(A HUGE thank you to the lovely ladies at Free People Bethesda at Montgomery for all of your help, you have such a wonderful understanding of your mommy clientele & also I can’t say enough about Michelle, she’s a personal stylist at Nordstrom Montgomery Mall who styled the ladies & let me say, this girl GETS IT. Her services are free & she is AMAZING, just call Nordstrom to set up an appointment with her!)

Model #1: Kelly (purchased at Free People Montgomery mall except for the shoes which can be found on Amazon)

Twisted Solid Harem Pant $68

Fly Away Tank $68

Knit Hooded Denim Jacket $148

Electric Stone Hard Bangles $28

Toms Burlap Wedge $68.50

Model #2: Danni (purchased from Target, Forever 21 online & Steve Madden)

Mossimo Back Zip Tee $19.99

Mossimo Moto Vest $17.99

Go Baroque Pants $14.80

Steve Madden Troopa Boot $99.95

Model #3 Corinne (all purchased from Nordstrom Montgomery Mall)

Caslon Utility Jacket $78

Hinge Lace Yoke Sheer Floral Tank $24.97

Rag & Bone Boyfriend Jean $198

Harper Bootie by Sam Edelman $99.95

South Sun Pendant Necklace $18

Michael Kors Reversible Leopard Belt $42

Model #4 Amy (All purchased from Free People Bethesda or Free People Online)

Washed Denim Overall $98

Ciao Belle Tee $78

Coin Layering Necklace $48

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Clean your plate.

by Natasha on March 25, 2014 in mommy blog

A few weeks ago I decided to start seeing my therapist again. She’s known both P & I from couple’s therapy since we first moved to DC 7 years ago. Wow. I cannot believe that much time has passed! Not to mention how much our life has changed in that time…whew, just had one of those ‘whoa’ moments… Anyway, let me shelve the nostalgia sap & get to my point. I asked her if she could help me manage my life better. There are certain things that have been put on my plate that I can’t take off, then there are a few things like this blog & the TV segments that I just don’t want to give up, the problem is I have so much that I end up doing everything…well, half ass. Sorry, just could not think of a more perfect way to put it. I’m starting to realize that the reason I’ve been struggling with feelings of guilt, frustration & at the end of the day not feeling like I accomplished much of anything, is because I’m not! I’ve been trudging through my days doing my best to keep my responsibilities afloat but all the way getting exhausted & really going no where. (Those are often the times you get radio silence here on LPM)

A week or so ago I had this endpass moment where I thought to myself something has to give. I was so tired from trying so hard but the truth was P & the girls weren’t getting what they needed from me & I wasn’t exactly doing a great job of taking care of myself either. My first thought was, something has to go, & it can’t be my health needs or stay at home mom duties so it had to be this. My blog & everything that goes with it. The thought of it made me so sad. I realized in that moment how much I love this place, & honestly I truly believe God has given me these wonderful opportunities that have sprung from LPM as a blessing, He’s given me something that really gives me joy in a time where my life has had a good handful of downs. I realized in that moment that I had to have faith that if he gave me the opportunities He’d also give me the strength to do them. So now that I knew I didn’t want to give up anything, & I believed that I had the strength to carry it all how do I do it differently because it was obvious my current method was working at all. That’s when I remembered my therapist & how I often had thought of her as not only a wonderful guide for couples in crisis but also had many moments where I saw her as a woman I respect that would make a wonderful life coach. So there it was, step one. I didn’t know what steps 2, 3, & 4 were going to be but that was ok, I knew I had a step 1 & that was enough to move forward.

At our first appointment I filled her in on everything I had on my plate & gave a honest account for how well I was actually doing these things. When I was done she said, “Ok, tell you what, let’s draw out an actual plate & divide in sections what you have & want to do.” It looked a little something like this…

How much of this can you relate to? When I started to put down on paper how much I actually “do” as being the caretaker of our home & family I can’t believe how much there is that I didn’t even realize I was carrying!

Now, let me take a moment to say this loud & clear, I am NOT complaining. Not in the least, I was blessed enough to have the option to quit my full time job when Samantha was born. I can’t even fathom how much you full time working mommies must have on your plates! I love my life & everything in it & fully realize how blessed we are & much incredibly worse other people’s plates can look. I’m grateful & fully aware of the lives of others, but this is my life & I think it’s ok to say that right now it’s hard for me. It’s ok for you to say it too.

Once we had a good look at the situation she asked me, if I had a magic wand what are the critical changes I could make that would make me feel better at the end of the day.

I was surprised how quickly they came to me…

1. I want to feel like I spend more quality time with my girls. Right now they’re just shuffled along from one point in the day to the next because whether they’re home or not home I’m constantly juggling a bazillion things in the air.

2. I would like to not feel stressed everyday that the house is not neat enough or there isn’t enough laundry done or have I done the dishes before my husband gets home. I have a husband that works from home most of the day, he’s very OCD & although he tries not to complain I know that when he comes home from work, to work & the house looks like a tornado came through it can be stressful for him. I also know that I can get so behind on laundry that there are times he’s getting dressed at 3am & can’t find which pile I have of clothes that his clean undershirts might be in. Even though he doesn’t say it, even though he tells me he understands that I have a lot on my plate & it’s ok, it’s not ok with me. That is a big source of my stress & if I could just find a better system I think it’d help tremendously.

3. I want to seize the opportunity of growing my ‘career’ here at LPM by the horns & take it for all I can. I want to kill it. I know I can nail these TV segments or contributor posts I’ve been offered if I could just give it the focus it needs. I have the hunger but I’m scared I don’t have the focus because I’m so darn tired from everything else that’s on my plate. But I don’t want to let it pass.

In my 20’s I graduated from college with a degree in TV Journalism & I was really good at it, I absolutely loved it! But when it came time to graduate & send our tapes out to TV stations across the country that had job openings (usually small towns out in Nebraska or somewhere since we’d be newbies) I got scared & never sent a single one in. I’m sure I made some other excuse in my head, I ended up making a decent career for myself in marketing but looking back I now know that when I came to that endpass I took the easy road…because of fear. This time, this endpass, I want to choose the hard road because I know the reward at the end when you follow your heart will be so worth it.

Now, can spewing all of this out & recognizing what is important magically get it all done? No. Of course not. I’m still one person and am limited at that, BUT, she said let’s just start with one…

I wanted to start with girls, what could I do to make my time with the girls more meaningful? We came up with a “sweet spot” of the day that is just for them. From 3:30-4:30 it’s just us doing a craft or playing a game before I have to start dinner. No, one minute to empty the dishwasher, fold some clothes or check my email, it’s just us. They have me fully. I’ve been trying it out & I can’t tell you how good it feels. Am I still their mom the rest of the day? Of course, I’m constantly getting a glass of milk or wiping someone’s butt…however now when those little eyes close & I tuck them in their beds I don’t feel like I’m failing them as a mother. It’s amazing how changing one ‘sweet spot’ of time can make a difference. Like I said, there’s a lot more to figure out but this is a start & I’ve noticed that by making a change that ends with a positive outcome can greatly renew your sense of hope & that, that can make a world of difference.

I’ve noticed that there are some of you who have told me through comments or emails that when I write these posts about my life & this crazy journey I’m currently on, that you’re on the same one & that it’s helpful to read that you’re not alone. That’s why I’m posting this, because if it’s helping my life than chances are good that it could help yours too! At least I think it’s worth a shot.

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DIY Lace Cuffs

by Natasha on March 13, 2014 in tutorials

Your reactions & responses to last Monday’s post made me feel so amazing, I know I’ve said this before but sometimes blogging can actually be a really lonely medium, you really never when you hit that ‘publish’ button if you’re going to be flooded with people who know exactly what you’re talking about, & maybe even needed to hear just what you had to say that day, & when that happens it makes putting yourself out there 1000% worth it but more than once I thought to myself, “Yes! This is gonna be a homerun!” & then crickets. After Monday there were no crickets, instead there were hugs & high fives & I think even a few tears. The best sound I ‘heard’ however was “Whew!” a deep sigh of relief that not only are you not alone in this boat but that boat does not have a broken compass, it is heading to a very specific destination & that place is going to be beautiful! And now we know that we will both get there together! Ok, now that I’ve officially met my metaphor quota for the day let’s move on to a project that I’m madly in love with…DIY lace cuffs!This is one of the projects I made on ‘Let’s Talk Live‘ (11am, channel 8 for you local DC peeps) last week…Side track: I LOVE doing that show so much, (although I could do with a different freeze frame for the video) I told P on my way home it sounds bizarre but I somehow feel like it’s ‘home’ being there. I’m still & will always be committed to being ‘mommy’ first & foremost but I gotta say, working some feels pretty darn good too.

Ok! So, back to the project at hand, & I’m glad I’m finally getting this up because it is seriously one of the BEST, LOVE all the directions you can go with this! Colors, Metals, Studs…the possibilities are endless. My sister, who’s 18, & is here all week because she wanted to spend Spring Break with us, how sweet is that, she and I whipped up the neon ones today to add to the collection of previously solely golden beauties. I honestly don’t know which I love more!You can see me make the cuffs live on my TV segment here but below are a few more detailed photos & directions…

There are two options for purchasing lace in a fabric store, either on a bolt or off of a ribbon spool, either way you’ll need barely any at all. If you look at a bolt of beautiful lace like what’s sold in the bridal section of the fabric store try not to let the look of utter disgust show on your face for too long when you see the pricetag. Some of those laces are way more fancy than you or I will ever be. It’s ok though because you really just need no more than a 1/4″ yard, maybe even less. I think the $50 yard chantilly lace I bought ended up costing me $7 & I probably bought more than you’ll need. When you’re looking through the lace fabric keep an eye out for one which has a design that you’ll be able to pull a roughly 8″ rectangle type shape from for your cuff. Your other option is lace trim. It may not be as fancy or come with beautiful names like ‘chantilly’ but that’s also what makes it much cheaper. After cranking out a few of these I also found that it was nice to have the edges that are already outlined for me, all that said if I were you I’d pick up 1/2 a yard of a few different lace trims & call it a day.

Trim the lace piece you’ve chosen to be your cuff so it’s roughly the size of your wrist, don’t forget it doesn’t need to fit too snug & you can always trim it later if it’s too big. Lightly coat the lace in fabric stiffener, if you drench it give it a little wring out, you don’t want too much otherwise it will fill in the holes in the lace. Wrap the lace around your bottle of choice, I used a water bottle & actually the spray paint bottle for a bit of a bigger one.

Every 20 minutes or so I’d peel the cuff off & give it another light coating then put it back on the bottle to dry some more. You’ll notice after a few layers the cuff will sit on it’s own without the bottle, but don’t forget, if the ends don’t dry in a circle it won’t stay on your wrist. Now is also the time to spray paint the cuffs, I painted them while they were on the bottle, the gold ones only took one coat but the neon looked better with too. Just keep peeling them off & replacing them so they don’t dry onto the bottle. If they stop sticking to the bottle that’s ok, just use a lightly tied ribbon or a little tape to hold them on. Leave them overnight to finish drying, if they’re a little limp now they’ll be solid by morning. Also if you’re going to add studs now is the time to do it, while the cuff if still a little mailable you can open it up & push the stud points through, work quickly though because you don’t want to ruin the shape.

That’s it! Happy crafting!

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I’m a Diamond.

by Natasha on March 3, 2014 in mommy blog

I have been wanting to write this post for a little over a week now. In fact I last opened the post on February 24th at 6:26pm according to wordpress. Yet the only progress I’ve made is the title, “I’m a Diamond.” So here it goes, let’s give it the old college try to get this swarm of ideas out of my head & onto your computer screen. (what the heck does that saying mean anyway? the last thing I did in college was try my very best, unless your very best means sliding in just under the amount of absences allotted before you get booted from your 8am math class)

I’m feeling a lot of pressure lately. So much pressure in fact that I can physically feel it. You know when you’re just sitting, sipping your coffee in what should be a somewhat peaceful moment of your day, no disasters (yet) & still you feel like a very fat snake has slipped loosely around your neck & is his putting his entire body weight on your shoulders as if you had on the heaviest scarf EVER.

That’s the pressure I’m talking about. That kind of pressure doesn’t grow from a one time crappy experience either. When you got a flat tire & then found out that your car took some fancy replacement valve that they didn’t have in stock & they had to call 12 dealerships to find it & you didn’t get home until 8pm, that was a ‘bad day’. ‘Boa Constrictor pressure’ as I’m now going to call it is a slow growing beast. He starts off as a small necklace. Just a little thing wrong in your life that you are pretty capable of handling. But then it gets worse, or maybe it doesn’t get worse maybe it just never lets up or maybe it’s something else completely random that happens & before you know it you have a statement piece around your neck. You know one those fabulous necklaces that can completely make a monochromatic maxi look like a magazine outfit but at the end of the day you have a headache because the thing was so darn heavy? Somehow, because of whatever your personal battle is, you are forced to wear that necklace every day & then one day you wake up & realize that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to walk your kids to the car on a beautiful blue day & just enjoy a crisp breeze, some warm sunshine & how darn cute your little one looks in those boots. Instead you’re in constant ‘what’s next?’ mode. What appointment is next, what’s next to cross off that never ending list you have…everything is just go, go, go because you have to. You have to go. That is how you end up with a boa constrictor on your shoulders.

You might be thinking where I’m going with this post is to tell you to take some time to enjoy the small moments in life, or prioritize about what’s worth your attention, don’t allow the bad things in life to take over…Well, I’m not. Because that sounds beautiful but it’s crap. Sometimes we have ‘HAVE TO’s’. What movie is that where she says, “my entire life is have to”??

It’s true. Sometimes life deals us cards, I take that back, life is not a random game of blackjack, let me say it how I think it is, sometimes God gives us a time in our lives where the burden is heavy. You cannot prioritize your way out of it.

You have a child with disabilities.

Your husband is in the military & you are on your own.

Your husband is gone.

You’re sick.

There is pressure that is unavoidable in life. So what to do?

Every week I have 3-6 doctor appointments on average. (That includes physical therapy & lab visits, basically places I need to be because my body is wonky) Managing my health has honestly become a full time job, I joke that I’m the ‘office manager’ of MyDisease LLC because I’m constantly managing the schedule, gathering paperwork & don’t even get me started on the admin work of submitting things to my insurance company because EVERYONE good these days is out of network. Thank you Jesus that we are blessed enough to even be able to go out of network, I really see myself one day starting a charity that helps young moms like me, who are often the core group affected by most of these auto-immune diseases, get the financial help they need to see the best doctors. ‘The best’ can make or break you & it’s just not fair right now. I can’t go there for too long because it really breaks my heart…another post for a different time. My point was, awhile ago I asked my Dad if he would be my mental/medical record keeper & would help me keep track of all the events that have happened, so I was calling him while I was on my way to an appointment & was telling him about how I now have a rash as a side affect of my disease & it’s not only giving me acne like I’m a 14 year old greaseball (no thank you, been there, done that!) but it’s also making my fingertip skin split under my nails, I’m currently typing with 4 of those h-shaped fingertip band-aids on & yes I realize how pathetic that is, spell-check is working overtime in this post, but is it worse that what annoys me the most is that I gave myself a really cute manicure the other day & now its going to be ruined by band-aid gunk? I guess that’s for that priorities post I’m not writing today. Anyway, I was telling my Dad about yet the newest problem that is wrong with me which requires an appointment with yet another specialist & he mentioned something about how my little robot body was really falling apart (in a loving, funny way of course) which triggered an immediate visual in my head. My sickness has made me an ugly piece of coal. Go with me here…

The last three years have been the hardest years of my life, hands down, but being on such a long path of dealing with a difficulty has also meant my ugly piece of coal has been under a lot of consistent pressure. I’m sure you see where I’m going here, constant pressure turns coal into diamonds but don’t jump to the end just yet because I am NOT a finished sparkling diamond yet. Yet. You probably aren’t either, but here is what I want you to know…

When you feel the constant pressure (I kid you not Sam JUST yelled down to me “Sheldon pooped in the playroom & he also took the kitty poop out of the litter box again & it’s in the hallway!) I want you to remember something…

You are a diamond, you’re just still a little covered in coal. And this pressure that you’re under, this everyday, gorilla on your shoulders pressure, it’s all part of the plan to make you a diamond. The more pressure the bigger the sparkle will be. I truly believe that. 100%. ~~I think~~, I know God has great plans for me & I would not have been able to accomplish them if I hadn’t gone through all of this continuous pressure. Great things really do come from great trials. You know what too, every once in awhile I get a little glimmer of the sparkle that’s underneath. The other day I was able to tell a friend who is in the thick of a really hard time about my whole diamond theory & later she said that it really helped her & when she finds herself in one of those situations where you just can’t take anymore she tells herself, “I’m a diamond, I’m a diamond” Knowing that sharing the lesson I’ve learned helped her was a little glimmer of my sparkle that’s under the coal that covers my life right now.

For Christmas P surprised me with the most amazing diamond pendant, it’s actually a small yellow diamond on a delicate little chain & I’ve been wearing it every day since then. (Call me a little quacky but I believe God gave him the idea to buy me that, I never would have asked for it & I don’t even know if I told him about my obsessions with the beauty of yellow diamonds) When the pressure gets to be too much I rub my little diamond & remind myself, sometimes outloud & sometimes in public because Sophie has taught me to not care what people think, “I am a diamond. I am a diamond.” I really love having a tactical, physical item to remind me of important lessons in life so if you’re in the pressure cooker phase of your life too & you don’t have a sparkly bauble to wear I suggest you buy yourself one. It doesn’t have to be fancy, & it certainly doesn’t have to be a real diamond. You can find some really beautiful crystal & CZ ‘diamond’ pendants on Etsy.

Regardless, here’s what I wanted to tell you today. You my friend are a diamond, unfortunately things of great beauty like diamonds don’t come without great pressure & they always start off a little tarnished with black coal. Hang in there, be strong & have faith. Eventually there will be glimmers of the sparkle underneath & one day, one day you’ll be a stunning rock that makes Kim Kardashians’s ring look like a gumball machine trinket.

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LPM on Let’sTalk Live: 3 DIY Spring Accessories You’ll Love!

by Natasha on February 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’ve actually been working on a post, not on my computer, moreso in mind, about what’s been going on in my life.

Those heartfelt gut searching posts usually go a little like this…’bad’ things happen, I get sad/frustrated/snarky with others & then after those emotions run their coarse I start to think about the ‘whys‘ & that’s when the post begins. After that it slows roasts like a big fat rotisserie chicken in my brain until it turns into something that’s hopefully amazing, & I want to share it here. My chicken is 90% done at this point & I gotta say, I think you’re gonna really like it, but it’s still slightly raw in the middle & since I don’t want you to get salmonella we’re gonna craft in the meantime. And because God is so smiling on me, we’re gonna do it on TV today!!

So for you DC locals it’s channel 8, 11am, ‘Let’s Talk Live’, or you can watch it live streaming here!

We’ll be making some fabulous gold cuffs out of leftover lace, a fringed spring scarf that’s an exact knockoff of the store ones & I’ll show you how to change some cheap prom jewelry into trendy statement pieces! After the segment you can find the full tutorials here on the blog later today.

Love you guys, cross your fingers for me today, it’s gonna be a tough one to pull off!!!

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DIY Elsa Dress from Disney’s Frozen

by Natasha on February 17, 2014 in tutorials

Do you have any idea how many times a day that lyric repeats itself in my brain?

I know someone who does & according to her, when she introduces herself to complete strangers mind you, SHE “is the REAL Elsa!” Let me preface this tutorial by saying that when it comes to posting the directions for dresses that I make for my girls it can be a bit tricky. The problem is, I totally wing it. I’m one of those people who wakes up in the middle of the night with crazy ideas, I picture exactly how I want to create something in my head & then figure it out as I go. The problem is then when I try & regurgitate what I did in an instructional form such as this, well, it can get a little confusing for those of you who actually have some legit seamstress street cred. However, I will do my best to walk you the crazy creative process my brain takes. (more…)

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