One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned since starting this blog is that if I’m having a problem with something chances are you might be too. If I can be honest & just put it out there the reward is hearing from you that you feel the same way too. So here’s what I’m battling. I’ve lost my inner sex kitten. She’s been missing for about a year (or two) & I really need to get her back. I used to be so proud & confident, I had no problem prancing around in lingerie or a pretty bra & panties. Shoot, I actually wore pretty bras & panties. In fact I prided myself on being a passionate, sexual woman. I don’t know where it happened but at some point during motherhood my attitude about my sexuality changed. (I wrote a little about it in my “Do moms go to Brazil” post)
I’ve realized lately however that I’m not ok with it. I’ve been using the excuse of “I’m too tired to be sexy”, “I have to chase kids all day, it sucks the sexy right out of me”, “I don’t like my body” or “Sweatpants are just so darn comfortable!” for too long. It’s time for a change.
Someone once gave me the advice “Treat your husband like a mistress would & he’ll never have the need for one”. Do I want to spice up my sex life because I’m afraid if I don’t my husband will go find someone who will? Absolutely not. I do think however that he deserves to have a fun, sexy wife. That’s who he married after all. I’ve got to find a way to get my sexy back. To feel comfortable in my own skin again, if you had it once you can get it back, right? Right??
That’s why when one of my best friends told me about the book she made her husband for Valentine’s Day I tried to think past my first reaction of “No way, I could never do that!” to “Maybe I can.”
Maybe, just maybe, I’d even like it? I certainly know he would.
She told me I could share it with you as long as I promised to leave her anonymous. I was telling her that maybe this could be the start of a new little series, “Leaving mommy at the door & bringing sexy back”. (it’s still a working title)
She used her Silhouette
On every page of the book is a different set of pictures. One pic is of you in some sexy bra or top & then you lift the picture (it’s attached with tape along the top) to reveal yourself sans top! On the very last page she did a full body lingerie shot with a little sweet note to her hubby. The best part is she did the whole thing in the privacy of her own home during her son’s naptime! All you need is a tripod, a camera with a timer & perhaps a quick swig of mommy’s special juice.
Do you have any idea how ridiculously excited my husband would be if I surprised him with this?? I’d be wife of the year. It would take a heck of a pep talk but man, it just might be worth it.
You have to tell me, could you do it? Should you do it? Or maybe you already have already??
I think you should do it! I don’t know if I could though… I don’t think I have the nerve to take the nekkid shots of myself 🙂
As far as our sex life… it’s a bit more routine than it used to be now that we have 2 kids, but recently we’ve both been sharing a few adult drinks and then gotten busy. Honestly, a little alcohol in me will absolutely bring out the inner sex kitten that is hiding when I’m sober. He LOVES it, and I honestly love it too. I enjoy it more, and even look forward to it again 🙂 That’s not to say I need alcohol to have sex, but it helps make it a TON more fun. Now to slowly work on being able to coax that inner sex kitten out without the alcohol, and I’ll be set 🙂
That is the TRUTH. We’ve started having wine with dinner a lot more lately. The only problem with that is I find that when we go on a date night & have a few drinks I’m SO TIRED when we get home. I seriously can’t even keep my eyes open.
I think its a great idea, especially if you can do it all in the comfort of your own home!!! I wish I would have seen this before Valentine’s Day, because my husbands gift would have been different! I definitely think you can do this if it is something you want to do! Every woman wants to let that inner kitten out. Maybe you give the book a different spin. Start off with your husband’s or your favorite outfit and each turn of the page something is removed until you get to the best part…just you in whatever you feel comfortable in!!
I’m glad you put this out there….I might not have kids, but I’m a full-time student and definitely feel the oh-so-comfortable in sweat pants a lot lately….I have to feel more comfortable in my own skin and just let loose and have fun!!
I love your spin on it!! Now THAT is an idea I could work up to (once I lose the baby weight, get some sexy undies again, get my hair done, have a drink…) 🙂
You should do it! I’ve done something similar once and I laughed my ass off the whole time. It was well received. 🙂 The naughty deed=anticipation=excellent sex. (However, I think it is really important to examine why you are not the confident person you once were.)
I say ,Go for it girl! You are totally right ! If you act like the mistress there will be no need for one! I think that although alcohol helps.. It shouldnt be involved all the time! Be comfortable while both sober and a little tispy! I know how it is I have two kids as well.. But i make sure and try and sneak in some fun once in a while! You are gorgeous and im sure your husband knows it! Have fun with it!
I’m not a mom, so I could be completely off the mark, but I’ll share my 5 cents anyway 🙂 (p.s. oops… I apologize in advance. I didn’t mean to write such a long comment) …
Reading your post, the line that jumped out at me was this “I do think however that he deserves to have a fun, sexy wife.” You’re right, but there’s more to it than that. YOU deserve to feel like and be a fun, sexy wife, better yet, woman.
My neice, Sami, turns 4 this June and her mother (my sister) has told me a lot of the same things that you have said in your post. As a mother, you place the health, well being and happiness of your children above all else. You’ve re-prioritized your life and as I think is common, you’ve redefined yourself as mommy instead of woman. I’ll tell you what I told my sister, you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to be a little selfish sometimes. You have taken on so much and most of the time, everyone benefits from your time and attention except you. If you are anything like my sister, whenever your girls are at school, you take that time to run errands, do work, finish the laundry, clean the house, etc. My brother-in-law absolutely adores my niece, but he’s the “fun” parent and my sister is everything else. Sometimes she gets a little resentful because it’s so easy for him to get a baby sitter and do something that is fun for him. My sister on the other hand has all this mother’s guilt about leaving Sami with someone else if she isn’t working. It’s hard for her to feel sexy towards him if she has a little resentment.
When you think of your children’s father as a “babysitter” then you are not only being unfair to them, but also to yourself. I know in a previous post you talked about how stressful leaving the girls was on your hubs, and you weren’t sure if it was worth it. That’s obviously a personal decision, but I will say this… parenting is stressful, why do you try to carry that burden on your own.
My sister always feels like she needs to take advantage of the time that Sami is at school because she can get things done twice as fast. One day I asked her why. Why do you HAVE to get it done twice as fast? Will you starve because it takes an extra 30 minutes to shop for groceries with Sami? Will the family go without clothes because you didn’t fold everything out of the drier? Is it a little more frustrating, probably, but if it allows you to do something fun or relaxing just for you when Sami is at school then isn’t that worth it? Aren’t you worth it? I believe you have to make time to put the woman in front of the mommy every once in awhile and that doesn’t just mean for sex. Easier said than done, I know.
Maybe instead of doing date night knowing you’ll be tired and of course if the hubs can do it, why not do a date lunch, if the girls are at school you can make (or order) a nice lunch and get your bow chica wow wow on at home. Or instead of doing date night on a Friday or Saturday after a long week that has torn you down, do it on a Sunday or Monday at the beginning of the week so you both haven’t been run ragged yet. Nothing says you have to stay out until the wee hours. Again, I’m not a mother, so I hope I don’t offend anyone, just a bit of what it looks like from the outside in.
I don’t think this was offensive at all… maybe it’s because I need to hear a lot of this. I just had my 2nd child a few months ago and it’s really important for me to be reminded these things. I know both my husband and I know this deep down but it really is easy said than done… things are hard when you feel so tired all the time. Thanks!
Everything you have said is to true, and it really is easier said than done. I too really needed to hear this, I am really going to try and make it a goal of mine to put myself frist and treat myself to have some fun at least once a week!
Should you do this, would you do this? Um YES! My husband would be so freakin excited if I did this for him! We have two kids and most days I’m totally spent but days we make an effort with playful banter and. Um. Photos 😉 I feel all sassy and sexy again. I say go for it girl! I am seriously considering this as soon as I can find a little time from the kids;)
Oh I wish I could do something like this. I am just not even close to being comfortable enough in my own skin. I hate the way my body looks and I am truly puzzled at how my hubby can like it so much when it’s clearly disgusting (to me). Maybe wanting to make a book like this someday would give me an incentive to work out.
I would not do this.. for the same reason I would not have sexy pics of me anywhere. I got scarred for life when I saw my mom’s sexy pics when snooping thru a box at the tender age of 12 😛 (she hid them very well, but well, i was a pretty good snooper)I swear I wont have any lying around for my kiddos to find.
I would, however, pack the kids off to school and go back to bed with my hubs. After 3 kids, we have perfected the art of a morning nookie.. it starts both out days on a high note, to be sure.
We lock the bedroom door for an afternoon nap on weekends.. the kids are free to supervise themselves for 3 hours. we might just cuddle and talk, or do something more, but that time is now part of the rhythm of our home. The children have become used to this, they might watch TV, play board games, or read books. We do answer any knocks immediately(as soon as we can :), because we are their parents first, but they do not knock unless there is really something that deserves our attention .
The kids understand that a married couple have some secrets they share..and love… and I hope they will grow up knowing the preciousness that marriage is .
I totally agree with this not having sexy pictures, and teaching kids that it’s okay for mom and dad to have time to themselves. We have nap/quiet time every day for two hours in our house (with a 2 and a half year old and a 9 month old.) The 9 month old will usually sleep and the older child doesn’t have to be asleep, but he does have to be in bed reading or doing puzzles. He usually gets bored and takes a nap anyways.
Good luck.
I say do it! You would be surprised how sexy you start to feel just by taking the pictures, much less after seeing his reaction to them! I’m with Melissa, I’m not a mommy (yet) but have fallen into a group of mommy friends so I hear all about the stress and exhaustion. The fact is that children will base their adult relationships on what they see growing up and what better example to set, than making time for yourself and your hubby and showing them that no matter what’s going on, your marriage and relationship is always a priority! (Forgive me, years of counseling education tends to rear its head in moments such as these)
Wow – I can only imagine that any man would love a gift like that. I would suggest making a big deal about it. Go get your hair done. Go to the salon for a manicure and pedicure. Maybe even buy something new and sexy. Then make your book. If you feel good about yourself it will show. A lot of what makes someone “sexy” is the confidence.
I have a 3 year old and I can say that my inner sex kitten left shortly after becoming a mommy. I work full time and commute 3-4 hours a day. By the end of the day I’m exhausted. Friday roles around and I’m done! For us Saturday is the best day for a date night. We get some rest, don’t have to rush or be on a time restaurant. I am blessed enough to have family close and my mom takes our son for a lot of weekends. She loves to spend time with him and I need the break sometimes. If you could work something like that out and plan a whole date weekend with only you and your husband it would probably be very helpful. There are plenty of things you can do to spice things up. You are definitely worth it…especially as a mother!!!
I am a total failure in this department. Thanks to breastfeeding, a c-section and about 20 extra pounds I could never see myself doing it! You are a hot little mama though so I totally think you should do it!
man oh man.. my husband would probably pass out from excitement with this! i was just writing on my blog a few days ago how i and many other women need to reinvent themselves. i just *might* give this a shot! =)
Absolutely not. Not because I don’t think it’s a good idea but because once a picture is taken it could end up almost anywhere. Co-worker sees it, children find it, house broken into and they find it- so many things that could go wrong.
I LOVE this idea- it would be especially great for a deployment 😉 I am totally going to do this but first I need to get rid of my mom bra and panties and get some sex kitten ones… I see some concern about having sexy photos laying around and those are valid but from the point of view of a wife who’s husband has only been in the same country as her for 4 of the last 12 Valentine’s Days you have to get creative to keep the steam in a marriage when you are apart so much. Thanks for sharing!
Ditto to Andrea — breastfeeding, c-section, and extra weight that won’t budge makes me a no go for this — although I absolutely love the idea, and the prospect of doing this may give me the motivation I need to get moving. Not until baby is sleeping through the night though…right now, extra time = sleepy time.
I’m also not a mother, but lemme-tell-you somethin’, i’ve gone through some times where i’ve felt the unsexiest. you’re right; if you let yourself wollow in that sexy-less place for awhile, you tend to forget your inner sex kitten (married w/ kids or not).
i agree with Heidi, make it an event. not for your husband though, but for you. what if you don’t like how you look on camera? shut the camera off immediately, add some more va-va-voom to your hair, and stroll around in some lingerie with a cocktail. or buy a new set and wear it under your normal clothes, and all day no matter if you’re wearing sweats, or if your hubby ever sees them at the end of the day, you’ll feel 100 MILLION TIMES sexier. promise promise. sexy doesn’t have to mean sex THAT day. it’s a mindset.
I know this is going to sound annoying but I really feel like exercising helped me get my sexy back after 2 kids. I have 2 under the age of 4 and I feel like body went through the ringer! When I got back to exercising it helped my body get back into shape but it also helped my confidence. And I got those positive endorphins going so I has more energy for other things…
I think it is a great idea. What a great gift to give to your husband. Have you ever seen the movie Hope Floats, and when she is working at the Photo Shop and they have a special place for “sexy” pictures. I would just be nervous my pictures would end up somewhere like that. Where did your friend get them developed?
Do it!!! I myself have found a problem with finding time to feel like the sex goddess that once pulled over along side a deserted road with my fiance >:D I contemplated having a local photographer do a boudoir session however they all post their albums to facebook and/or their portfolio. I don’t feel like having my goodies looked at by any one other than him. When I read this I almost died laughing because I have been trying to find ideas for something like this. Good for your frined though!
aww like a Karen Katz flap book! But totally inappropriate lol. I’m in the same slump as you girlfriend.
I could have sworn I was just reading about myself and my sex life! Or lack their of. I also have two little girls and I was once a fairly sexual person. But over the last few years it feels like my vagina has DIED. And its not OK with me either. I want to want sex. Does that make sense? I’m not sure if its a physical problem [like a chemical imbalance, your body and hormones do change after babies] or some emotional/mental one. [like all the mommy excuses you listed.] Maybe its a combination of both? And I know that this sounds strange but… when we are having sex I cannot help but think that my kids are in the next room sleeping. And it just feels wrong! Which makes no sense, since sex is exactly how they got in the next room in the first place!
The idea of having some grown up drinks first has come up a few times, but that is also a problem for me. I used to love having myself a few cocktails. But since becoming a mom I feel wrong about doing that as well? I envy those of you who can end the day with a few drinks! Of the few times I have tried that my cocktails come with a side of guilt. So I haven’t had alcohol in over 3 years! My poor husband, I used to be wild and fun and now I am lame.
I think I could make one of those books. But I dont want to! That would only turn my husband on more and it wont change the fact that I still dont want to have sex. It would be a mean tease!
OMG your reply is totally me! i thought i was the only freak (sorry for the lack of a better word) thinking that about being a mom. Ever since kids came i feel the SAME way with sex and having them in the next room, drinking and just enjoying myself in general. Thanks for the post, it made me feel a little more normal!! : )
This is such a good idea! definitely giving it a try
I could not do it. Maybe I should, I’m sure my husband would like it, but I just couldn’t. I completely agree with Christina with the thought that once a picture is taken you have no clue where it could end up. I’m such a prude anyways. I wish I wasn’t, but I’m just uncomfortable otherwise. I love the boudoir photo shoots that are becoming so popular now days. I think they are wonderful gifts for husbands, but again, I don’t see myself having one done.
Oh how having children makes you feel like the least sexy person on the planet. I completely agree. Not to mention that, for me, having 2 little people pulling and tugging on me all day means that that the thought of giving any more of myself to anyone at the end of the day is not even an option. I am a mother these days and not a wife and I wish I could find the balance.
My sister told me before I got married to make sure I always put my husband first. It is easy to unconditionally love your children and of course, their happiness and safety is of the utmost importance, but that comes naturally to a mother and in the process, husbands tend to get left behind. I didn’t understand it when she told me. It is painfully true now.
I do think that you have to make a point in doing something just for you and your significant other when kids come into the picture. You have to work on it. I think for me, having sex became all about trying to have kids, so the appeal and fun is lost for me now. I need to retrain my brain. Some days I wish I could just go back to “us” at the beginning and steal a little of that “magic” and bring it to the future with me. Don’t we all though.
I took some racy but not totally nude – wait, I was totally nude, but didn’t show it all – pics for my husband for Valentine’s Day. Like most ladies, I do NOT have a perfect body, but he loves me and my body anyway. I did all the shots in sepia for a softer look. I took 3 different poses – none full body because it was too hard to make all of the lumps look smooth at the same time 😛 Then I made them tiny, and put them in a teeny frame for a recessed portion of his desk. He is beyond thrilled 😀
I have to say this, I had a bit of a “mommy melt down” yesterday. I’ve been holding so much in. I didn’t want to burden other people with it. Being a mom of an almost 5 year old, and almost 2 year old twins, is exhausting! And I had been getting lost in the shuffle.
I totally understand what you are going through. And I’m realizing, that I need to start taking care of me. Putting myself, and few of my interests, a little higher up on the list. I blogged about it yesterday.
With that being sad, I LOVE this idea! And it’s something that I’m thinking about. I think it would be a nice treat for myself, and my hubby. Thanks for sharing! Because you are definitely not alone!
Man – this is my life. I totally agree with the c-section, breastfeeding, 20 lbs comment too. But my hubby does love me – stretch marks and all. This is a great idea – now the drinks and courage to do it….And one more thing – THANK YOU for talking about this! I swear I thought I was the only one!
You should do it! I have two kids and have been through as well. But just wanted to share something that always stuck in my mind before having kids. I saw an Oprah episode where she had a relationship specialist on, talking about how marriages break down because priorities change and are not always in the order we should have them. The husband still wants the woman he fell in love with, but the wife changes her priorities on what she thinks should be important, especially when children are involved. Usually leaving herself and husband last. The specialist said the order of how things in our life should be is…yourself first, husband second and kids last. That’s because if you are not happy, then your husband and marriage cannot be happy and without that stability neither will your children.
It’s my husband’s birthday very soon, and I had no idea what to give him as we are trying to save money. I think he would absoloutley LOVE this! Especially cause he works away most of the year 🙂 And I agree I went through a period where I felt so unsexy hated my body , still not 100% in love with my body. But yep it does make me feel better when I feel sexy for my husband 🙂
Thanks for the awesome idea 🙂
First of all, major kudos and high fives to you for discussing this publicly. You are very very much not alone. Our kids are super close in age and I think the place we are in life just naturally zaps our sex drive and energy. My college boyfriend’s roomates had nicknames for me because I just couldn’t get enough if you know what I mean … I think one of the comments above about examining why it is exactly that we feel different is important. Why ??
Exhaustion is one of the biggest issues for me.
I think the book is a fabulous idea — as long it is for you just as much as for him. What about making a book together??
Hi Natasha, it has been a long time since I have actually commented on a post, but I thought I would on this one. If you feel the need to make a sexy book for your husband and you know he will love it–great! I could never do it because 1. I would be afraid of the wrong person/people getting their hands on it and 2. I know my husband loves me, but he would not want something like that in existence for someone else to find one day.
I know what you mean when you say that you have lost the sexyness you had. I can be honest and say that my husband and I have A LOT of passion for each other. One thing we always were amazed at was how a lot of couples would be intimate for maybe 1 time a day (or a few times a week) we were doing it 3 times a day, sometimes up to 5. Yes, that is correct. Now that we are expecting a fourth baby this August, there is still passion for us, but it is not possible as much as it used to be. I guess my advice may be to take that extra time at night when your girls are asleep. It is difficult when you are both tired, or have some working to on the computer—but sometimes you just have to put those things aside for some intimacy. I know there have been some times when I just slipped on something my husband loves and surprised him, even if it was a ‘quickie’. 🙂
We do not have a lot of time for dates nowadays, but we do make the time to sit and watch a movie, or even have a special later night snack/meal for us.
I hope any of this helps inspire you!
Hey natasha,
I can so totally relate..idk if I can do a book though…its a little intimidating, especially when I don’t feel “sexy” about myself.
I love watching Dr. Oz, I think i’ve become that mom who doens’t misses a single episode..lol.. DVR at its best. Anyways just this past Wednesday he talked about the “libido” and how sometimes its needs a re-boost! so he talked about what foods you can eat to help you re-boost that little guy/girl up and feel sexy again! I usually watch it, let it set in and then I go back and actually write down his tips (i’m a total Dr. Oz nerd) anyways something I remember off the top of my hear are..eat Dark Chocolate, Drink or eat a pomegranate before bedtime and eat pine nuts through out the day..they compared Pine Nuts to Oysters yet you can store the pine nuts in your cupboard without it going bad like oyster. I hope you don’t mind that included the link to his website..check it out 🙂
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/reboot-your-libido-pt-1
Sorry but I wouldn’t advocate this. The idea of having nude pictures in a book for someone to accidentally stumble upon in the future is not appetizing. My advice is to do everything you can to first convince yourself that you’re sexy. Your husband already thinks you’re sexy, the pictures will make him happy but that’s not going to solve your barely purring inner sex kitten feelings. So start an exercise routine, eat better, get dressed nicely for your day, get a new haircut…whatever it takes for you to think you’re hot stuff. Slowly you will start to see how hot you are. Also, book a vacation for however long you think it will take you to get yourself to where you want to be again. It will serve as motivation to stay on track. Then once you’re there you’ll be sexy as heck and have a fantastic intimate time (no kids on this vacation!). Those memories of a steamy, confidence filled, passionate trip will be much more vivid for both of you than the picture book could ever be.
Your illustrations made me laugh out loud.
I had a boudoir-style photo shoot with a girl that I was comfortable with, in the privacy of her home, and she put together a professionally bound book for me to give my hubby for Christmas. He LOVED it, and constantly refers to it as his “sexy book”. Nothing was revealed, only hinted at, although I was almost completely nude during portions of the photo shoot. It was very tasteful, and a lot of fun. After having two kids, we don’t always view ourselves as sexual creatures first, but I’ve found that the more sex you’re having, the more you keep having. It’s when you get into the rut of not having it that it’s easier to pass it up. Turn down the lights, turn on music you find steamy and dance around in your (sexy) panties a little bit to loosen yourself up and relax. Have fun with each other… some of the best times my hubs and I have had in bed have been because we had each other cracking up at something funny. Being completely comfortable in front of him makes me feel sexier than anything else.
I love the idea and if you are concerned that somebody could find the book… Burn it after he has had a chance to enjoy himself 🙂 then you get a chance to do it again differently next time 😉
I want to do a book like this for my husband, but would like to lose this baby weight first. He would totally love it (no matter how I looked), but I would feel more comfortable and sexy after some pounds were shed.
That being said, there are other things I have done… including taking pictures with my phone and sending them to him while he was at work. I never reveal too much; just enough to make his eyes pop a little and be extra excited to come home. That might help for those who don’t want any tangible pictures… just delete the texts later.
You can also buy some photo printer paper pretty cheap and print your own pictures if you don’t want to take them somewhere to be developed.
Anyway, I think if you’re comfortable with doing this, you definitely should. I don’t think it’s setting any standard either… like you have to keep doing or outdoing things like this. Do what makes you both feel comfortable and enjoy yourselves. If you find you like doing stuff like this then keep up the good work, if not, find something else you do like and try that out.
On a deeper note, I’ve found that some things in life are only going to get done by me. I need to exercise and only I can do that for myself. My neighbor can’t exercise for me. I feel like ____ [this part] of my marriage needs to change and I can only do it, or I can only do it with my husband. I think intimacy in marriage is so important (and there are different levels of intimacy). If you don’t feel comfortable with this option (or fill in the blank) start out with something you do feel comfortable with. Just making an effort is important. This is your marriage so why not make the most of it.
OMG! I was just talking about this over dinner with my friend today! we both just cannot understand what has happened. I used to be all about sex! whenever wherever, but it just ain’t happening anymore! this is a great idea for a gift for my hubby…..Now to find out how to bring back that sex kitten! Let me know if you find a solution!!
I know, right!? Although I have to say once I got myself feeling sexier it’s kind of re-charged things which has made me feel sexier & then recharged more…I’m think it might be kind of an awesome cycle…I think I’ll blog more about sex re-chargers this week!
I don’t want any pictures of me naked with my face included, but I did send my husband a full nude pic for his birthday one year when he was overseas on holiday. I just made sure my head was not in the picture, that way if the picture ever gets out there is no identifying you.
I say do it!! I actually got a boudoir album professionally done. They made me look and feel gorgeous and the pictures turned out great. I gave it to my husband for our anniversary and while I don’t know how often he looks at it, I do know he loved that I did it just for him, and it forced me to buy sexy lingerie that he’ll now sometimes request ..”will you put on that black teddy you have”…
PS–we have a lockable file cabinet that we keep the book in to avoid my daughter ever finding it!
You know what helps me with this? When my husband, who works full time and does night school, gets up and makes breakfast with the kids so I can sleep in. And then he plays with them after breakfast so I can shower in the morning. Alone. (My kids are 2 and a half and 9 months.) And when he comes home, he helps me with the dishes. Or laundry. Or I help him fix things. Point is that we are doing other things together as a team. And he tells me that he doesn’t care if my leg hair is longer than his facial hair and things like that. And I don’t know if I believed him at first, but now I do because he acts like it’s true.
It also helps that our converter box stinks, so we don’t watch tv. Going on four years now. If you take an hour that you would otherwise spend watching tv, you can do a lot of other stuff together to kindle the romance. And romance doesn’t mean sex. Romance means the deeper relationship that leads you to be close enough to want it.
And sometimes I feel like I’ve lost it. I know I’ll probably get a lot of crap for saying this, but in those moments I’ve learned to be content? happy? Fulfilled. seeing just how crazy I can make him. Sometimes I surprise myself and change my mind about how much I want it. It doesn’t have to be a 10 every time, or 10 will feel mediocre, you know?
But then, I just saw that you’ve solved it. 🙂 Awesome.