My Dr appointment did not go as I had hoped last week. Well, kind of…
I had hoped the MRI would show some definitive evidence that would support a concrete diagnosis. It didn’t. It didn’t show squat.
My rheumatologist & I sat down and reviewed everything that has happened over the last year & she thinks I have Fibromyalgia with some secondary Sjogren’s sypmtoms. But here’s the thing, like so much in my life her diagnosis is vague. I meet all the criteria for Fibro but that wouldn’t explain my fevers or a few other random symptoms. It seems like I have some Sjogren’s symptoms that come & go but they’re not vivid enough to be the main cause of my pain. This realization does seem to be a part of the puzzle so in theory I should feel some relief. But I don’t…at least not how I had expected.
I thought once I could put a name on what was making me sick I could then get some medication & make a game plan for feeling better or at least one for thriving with my new life living with ____. I’m starting to realize that’s not what I need.
There’s something bigger at work in my life & I know now that I won’t find resolution by getting a diagnosis. Something is changing within me besides my physical ailments. I see now that God is using my pain to mold me into something new. A new creature who depends on him. By breaking me down I believe he is teaching me that my own strength is not enough. I’m relearning to walk, and it’s to walk blindly holding His hand for guidance.
My daily devotionals this week have been about being thankful for all of the trials in your life…
Walk with Me along the high road of thanksgiving & you will find
all the delights I have made ready for you. To protect your thankfulness you must remember
that you reside in a fallen world where blessings & sorrows intermingle freely. A constant focus
on adversity defeats many. They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty
& brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts. How precious are My children who
remember to thank me at all times. They can walk through the darkest of days with joy in their
hearts because they know the Light of My Presence is still shining on them.
-Jesus Calling App
I am in so much pain today. I want to do so much but instead I’m going to listen to what God is saying to me through my body & rest. Sometimes you just have to Be Still. If you’re like me than you’re constantly running in your brain. As you’re doing one task you’re planning out the next. When you’re driving to accomplish one errand you’re already thinking of what you’ll do after you complete it. Go, go, go. Do me a favor, sometime today just stop. Just be still & listen. Whether it’s 5 minutes in the closet while your kids are occupied or the silence of a bathroom stall at your office just BE STILL. Think of the Light & warmth in your life. Focus on the blessings. Be thankful.
Trust me, I know how wonderful it feels to ‘get’ this type of message & feel all warm & fuzzy in your thankfulness only to be completely distracted & sucked into a stressful situation 10 minutes later. It’s amazing how quickly we forget, how quickly I forget, but I’m still going to try, we have to start somewhere right?
I’m terrified to publish this post because I think I sound like a tutti frutti emotional nutcase, but then comes the neat part. I happened to be reading Momastery the other day & Glennon wrote about the book ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brene Brown. I took a chance, ordered it on Amazon & 2 days later was reading it for myself. I’ve only read the first chapter but my goodness, it was like getting hit with a mac truck of inspiration. She explores our fear of vulnerability & how by embracing vulnerable situations we can do great things. You have to get past the fear & try.
So this is me, and what I’m feeling, what I’m learning. I’m going to add thankfulness & courage to my list, I hope that by sharing it helps you think of a hard time in your life a bit differently today. Here’s to the warm fuzzies.
You have no idea how much I needed to read this post today! I’m getting married in 2 weeks and we’re both students, and between the two of us and trying to afford a place to live, things will be tight. Plus, all of the things that come with being newlyweds, I’m so scared that it’s not going to work, but in my moments of fear and anxiety, God’s been bringing people to my mind that have it worse than I do and He’s shown me when I’m feeling down, how much I truly have to be thankful for. I have wonderful people around me, a roof over my head, food to eat. So many people don’t have those things and I feel like God’s been using this unpredictable time in my life to teach me to reflect on Him and His provision, but it’s impossible for me to do when I’m so overwhelmed and focused on all of my problems. You are so right about us getting ourselves so worked up when all He wants is for us to be still. Thank you so much for this amazing post. I’ll be praying that you feel better soon and that a definitive diagnosis can be given and also, that this will continue to be an experience that brings you closer to God. 🙂
Oooo, the pre-wedding stress! I remember that too well. It was SO STINKIN STRESSFUL.
I’m so happy to hear my post helped, it’s stories like yours that are exactly why I made myself sit down and write it.
Also a bit of pre-wedding advice someone gave me, when you’re standing at the altar looking at your love take a moment to really soak in every aspect of it. What his hair looks like, the smell of the room, everything. Like make yourself truly feel it. Memories get fuzzy so quickly but I find the stuff I really made an effort to soak in I can still remember clearly.
Best to you and congrats!
Thank you so much for your advice! I’ll definitely be sure to make sure it’s something I dwell on and remember! And oddly enough, I found out tonight that the family I nanny for will be putting their child in daycare, so the job I was depending on will be gone soon. I was just crying and listening to Praise and Worship on the way home, just repeating to myself that God knows what He’s doing, even though it seems like things are falling apart. I’m going to borrow this line from your blog and write it on my mirror. “They can walk through the darkest of days with joy in their hearts because they know the Light of My Presence is still shining on them.” I’m going to keep finding joy. Thank you again for posting this today, of all days!
Natasha, first of all, thank you for writing this post. I absolutely LOVE the road this blog is taking. I have been reading for a couple of years now, and although I’ve been inspired by various things here (brown sugar brie, peppermint play-dough) I have never been more inspired than today. I am also on my own journey of discovering how to walk with God and it is so nice to hear someone going through the same. Although God has always been a part of my life, it wasn’t until last January that I REALLY learned how to put all of my faith in God. My husband of more than 15 years who I have had a relationship with for more than 21 years, left our home and our marriage. God made it clear from the beginning that this was not the end between us and that I should stand for my marriage. For 10 months I have been truly walking with God as my husband, provider, friend, and person to lean on. Even though my journey has been hard, I know that it is for a purpose and that I need to keep leaning on Him. In some ways, I have never been happier. Again, thank you for sharing your journey. I look forward to reading what is yet to come. Many, many blessings, my friend.
Oh Deana, bless your heart. That sounds awful and yet you seem to have such a wonderful perspective on your situation.
I can’t even imagine, can’t even pretend to imagine what you’ve been through. You’ll be in my prayers, I hope it gets better for you very very soon.
Also thanks for the part about liking the way road this blog is taking, I’m so nervous about not sticking to the cute & entertaining stuff, it’s nice to hear you noticed and enjoy it.
This is beautiful and heartbreaking. It must have been so difficult to share this. You are right. It is difficult to be vulnerable, online and in life. Something our pastor said last Sunday was “Let us not fear broken things and brokeness, but to hope, to hope in God and how God restores them into something new.” May I also suggest Barbara Brown Taylor? She is amazing, especially regarding the aspects of pain in our lives and where God is in those.
Thinking of you. I hope your pain dissipates.
I’ll look her up, thanks Angela! And thank you for your sweet comment (:
I know it’s strange, because I don’t know you, but I care about you and I hope it all works out and quickly. You’re neat people. 🙂
thank you for this today. i read ur blog daily, and have been comin in here for an update and i love how uve come to terms that u have to Let God guide u thru this. Its hard to do that because we naturally need to know in order for us to plan our next move, but when u finally accept and realize that some things are out of ur control, what an amazing feeling….and everything falls into place.
i trust that you will get thru this. ur a strong woman and u will be just fine.
keepin u and ur family in my thoughts and prayers xo
You’re so welcome Claudia (:
Thank you for your sweet words, they mean a lot
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 7 years ago although I suspect I have had it for much, much longer. In previous posts when you described your symptoms they sounded awfully similar to mine. I feel your pain. The one thing this disease has forced me to learn is how to just let things be and trust in God. This is very hard for my type-a personality. You will learn your limitations and how to say no when needed. Most importantly, you will get through this. It is so hard to go through everything and still not have a concrete diagnosis. Fibro sucks, I won’t sugar coat that but in some ways it is a blessing. You will find those blessings over time. You are strong and I know you will be ok. Trust in that.
Thank you Adriana, to hear from someone who’s had Fibro for so long but has been able to survive it and be better for it is really inspirational.
I’m curious as someone who’s been dealing with it for awhile is there anything you found that helped??
Thank you for being honest. I feel as if I am walking in your shadow. I’ve been reading your posts for quite a while and try to find hope in them. I as well have been searching for a diagnosis/answers that I’ve come to the conclusion I’m never going to get a concrete answer. I’ve decided to put it all in God’s hands. I’ve been dealing with this going on 3 years now. I am in pain as well. I’ve visited several doctors and was somewhat diagnosed. She said she thought I had a form of rheumatoid arthritis and was then prescribed medication which I didn’t start because I was pregnant. After reading the side effects of the medicine I opted to not take them after my baby was born. Love and prayers to you.
I’m so sorry Shay, 3 years…I can’t even imagine!
If they suspected RA then I’m guessing our symptoms are pretty similar, if you have some time email me and maybe we can trade info. There’s no reason you should be left with nothing to help.
natasha@littlepinkmonsters.com
I love your blog and am a long time follower.
Something did not sit right when you said god had to break you down. As a physician and counselor for my patients, it is heartbreaking to see this spin of negativity. I understand many people use spirituality, religion, etc to make up a rational reason for why things are happening. However science and nature are not always concrete, things are changing, things are constantly being discovered.
I hope you know that some times things go wrong in the body but eventually we’ll be able to narrow down what exact gene or enzyme or cell that is causing your condition.
In the mean time I hope your doctor at least has some comfort measures and symptom treatment planned. If you ever need a recommendation for great physicians in the Northern VA area that specialize in making a more concrete diagnosis please contact me! My colleagues would be more than happy to help see you and hopefully pinpoint what can be done to make it better and ease your pain!
Thanks Cherie, I totally appreciate what you’re saying and perhaps I didn’t adequetely express myself…
I don’t think God breaks us down, it’s more I like to think he builds us up by strengthening us through trials. Think about it, when it comes to your health no matter how much of a control freak you are there’s just nothing you can do it about…except have faith that it’s all for a reason. Good must come out of it. Otherwise we’d be left with a pretty hopeless outlook.
I hope maybe you can re-read the post because I hate that you took away it was a ‘spin of negativity’, if anything I think of it as a pretty darn positive outlook!
Also trust me, I’ve got some pain medication. I am NOT a natural just suck it up and take kind of girl. No way, no how. I’ve also started Lyrica which I’m hoping will make a difference soon.
Thanks again for your comment though, it’s always good to know how others interpret your words
I definitely did misinterpret that!
Keep your head up, Natasha, I’m glad you’ve been proactive in trying to figure out what’s wrong.
Can’t wait for another post, I love seeing the crazy things the girls are up to.
This may sound crazy, but have you ever posted all of your symptoms in your blog? I read someone elses blog w/a list of about 60 symptoms…I had a good 45 of them! I went to my OB-GYN and said, “Humor me and run this blood test.” I explained what I’d found and he did. The test came back positive for Hashimoto’s Disease, a thyroid condition that I’d been suffering from (and misdiagnosed countless times from various doctors). This internet be powerful stuff! Maybe a reader or random “Googler” will have a clue, and lead you to some answers. God Bless.
Wow, that is crazy! I’m so glad you found a diagnosis, I’m hoping I’m just about there too!
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 8 years ago, when I was in my early 20’s. I went through the same frustrating battle of feeling like crap and undergoing all kinds of tests looking for a diagnosis to explain my symptoms. The Fibro diagnosis didn’t really give me a sense of relief because it seemed like kind of the “catch-all” when nothing else fit or tested positive, so it didn’t necessarily feel like an answer for awhile. Research and a good doctor, plus finding medication combinations that worked, helped. The most important thing with Fibro is to not do too much at once and to listen to your body. If you’re having a day where you feel good (or even kind of okay) and get overzealous and overdo, it can actually trigger you to have a spell where you “pay for it” for several days after. Everything in moderation, as frustrating as it can be. Some days are good, some are PJ days, some days are frustrating/depressing days, but life does go on. There are forums for support that you can check out, and there are some people who find certain foods help and/or trigger their Fibro, so you might want to look at that and experiment with keeping a food log to see if you find a difference in your pain levels. I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through and are going through. To say “there’s a reason for everything” can be maddening, but I’m glad you are finding strength and a little bit of peace in this journey. Stay strong & know you’re not alone 🙂
This post was just what I needed today (and all the ones recently, too). I feel like God has been testing be lately while I make my way through a grueling grad class, teaching middle school, dealing with a lack of female friends in the DC area (they all live in other states), and trying to ready myself (physically, emotionally, and financially) for a mission trip to Kenya in June in which I’m going alone (husband can’t take off work for that long). Lately, I’ve felt like my whole world has been flipped upside down because of all the stress of my daily life, but seeing posts like this remind me that this is just God’s way of telling me to hang in there, that things WILL get better. Sometimes I forget (or get too scared) to put my full trust into God and not rely on myself to get me through. So thank you for reminding me what’s most important. I really hope things get better for you, too. I’ll be praying.
You’re very welcome. And thank you for being such a wonderful giving person to go on a mission trip to Africa alone (wow!) & also for sharing your story with me, it makes it all worth it to know it helped you. Things will get better soon, chin up!
Be still and know that he is God
Be still and know he is our Father
Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of his unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still.
(Steven Curtis Chapman)
I have found that, looking back over my life, it was in those dark times that I drew closer to God. I tend to have issues with surrendering and letting it all be in God’s hands… And it seems to take things spinning wildly out of control to remind me to put it all in God’s hands and just surrender… And while some of those times really sucked, I can look back on them with fondness… Because those were the times that I felt closest to God, and can truly say I felt His presence; and that comfort and peace and warmth that can only come from Him is so amazing.
On another note, has RA been completely ruled out?
Another thought… has Lupus been ruled out?
Natasha – I’m sorry to hear that you still don’t have any definitive answers. I totally understand how upsetting it can be. It’s been two crazy-months since I first got sick, and unfortunately, the team of doctors working on my case still don’t have any definitive answers for me either. (You can read all the details over on the blog http://www.daydreambelievers.net/2012/10/telling-my-story.html) — Some days are so hard and I feel so sick; then the mommy guilt that I can’t be up taking care of my girls the way I want to be sets in and makes the whole situation worse. It’s tough. I have been making a conscience effort everyday to let God lead me through. I *KNOW* that He has a specific reason why I am being challenged this way and I find great comfort in trusting that this difficult time is all part of God’s plan. I will keep you and your sweet family in my prayers! Wishing you the best, friend! Hugs! Michelle
Oh Michelle I’m so sorry mama. All I can say is hang in there, be strong even when you feel you’re utterly weak. That’s when it’s comforting to know your strength isn’t reliant on your own body, it’s from God & it’s more than enough. Easier said than done of course… And don’t let that darn mom guilt get you!! That still is lethal!
Keep in touch, and keep writing, you’re very good at it. (:
Thx so much for being vulnerable and honest! I love your perspective and know that you are not alone! God is always there….He never leaves us or forsakes us. Is just sometimes takes those quiet moments you are talking about for us to hear him! Praying for you!
I was so glad to see this post this morning. It was definitely something that I needed to read and I’m struggling with now. Long story short, due to some pretty stressful and ‘defeating’ struggles over the last couple of years, I’ve spent the better part of a year angry with and completely ignoring God. I’ve just started to try to find my way back, and let me tell you, it’s not easy. I feel ashamed and unworthy but at the same time still a little unsure. I’ve found that the best way for me to start is to find the things in my life that are positive and have been there through the negativity!
Good luck to you, I’m praying that you find a diagnosis soon, I can’t imagine how frustrating this must be!
Natasha, I love your blog,your creativity,your little”monsters” and your honesty about your feelings dealing with an illness.
However,I do agree with Cherie that your post does have a feeling of something is just not O.K. It is difficult to deal with an ilness such as fibro,I know, because I have issues with chronic pain due to arthritis. I think you are still in a bit of shock with your diagnosis. It might be helpful to talk to someone.(a therapist can help oh so much) I also find that I feel so much better when I get some exercise,everyday.(try a water class at the y-it is fun and you’ll meet others with similar problems)I also think that having faith does help.but I don’t agree that God wants anyone to be in pain-for any reason.
Well,maybe talking about God is like talking about politics.
Other things that can help- a gratitude journal,meditation,a daily nap,a chat with a close friend,doing something for others(for homeless shelter or food pantry),do something fun just for you and… I guess I feel like- life is short and we should try to see the sunny side of things.Everyone has “something”-life is not easy,but it is all we have.
Your blog is helping others in many ways!I am just offering you a hug and telling you my way of dealing with some very difficult issues.
Have you looked into gluten insensitivity??? My husband self diagnosed himself ( most Drs will do a million tests before thinking of this)
Also an insensitivity won’t show up on a test, google it. A lot of people diagnosed with fibro in reality are sensitive to gluten- worth a try! Can’t believe my hubby gave up some Fav foods- but he feels a lot better. Just a thought….Feel better Soon!!!
What a beautiful post to read! I was wondering about you this morning as I hadn’t seen anything new from you, and what thought provoking words to read this morning. I hope you have many blessings this holiday season, beginning with healing and ending with gratitude for the beautiful experiences you have in your life!
For whatever reason in the past few years I’ve had a tendency to often randomly notice how lucky I am–and it really does make you so much happier! Praying before every meal seems to contribute a bit to that because you have three times in a day when you’re not too exhausted to think to reflect on all the good in your life. Also, I make it a point to cherish time with loved ones, even when in the past their presence might have been annoying. For example, you get through a long day and all you want to do is surf your favorite blog (ahem, ahem) and your boyfriend/husband/kid keeps interrupting you (“hey look at this Facebook post” “can you help me find X?” “omg this thing on TV is hilarious, come watch!””let me tell you about this story from work RIGHT NOW”). I used to think, “can’t you see I’m trying to enjoy these 10 minutes to myself??”. But, if one day this person died I would wish I could have just one more second with them, even to watch that silly clip they want to play for me. So instead of getting upset about my interrupted web surfing (how silly, huh?) I stop and enjoy what they want to share with me–I can always go back to what I was doing later. Their excitement to involve me is an honor, I should be happy that of all people they are dying to talk to ME right now. A boyfriend/spouse that has lost interest in you, a child that is too busy with their friends to talk to you, now THAT is what should be annoying. (Note: this doesn’t mean don’t take time for yourself, not the point!)
I’m glad you’re finding your inner peace and thankfulness! I hope your medical journey takes the same positive spin.
Very well said. No need to fear what is in your heart. If those of us on here do not want to hear spiritual blogs, that is our choice to stop reading. No one can tell you not to speak from your heart and soul.
On a second note, have they tested you for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever?
I too was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a few years ago after years of tests, other diagnosis, medications, etc (I was 21 when finally diagnosed). However none of the Fibro medications worked – in fact they made me worse. I personally feel like Fibromyalgia is a cop out, like they can’t figure out what’s really wrong so we’ll hope this covers it. Hopefully you will experience better results than I did (i would gladly share with you my experience, symptoms, etc). I do caution you to research Cymbalta if they suggest that for you – when it didnt work the withdrawal was AWFUL, apparently it’s similiar to that of Heroin. I say this not to scare you, but to not accept something that may not be an accurate diagnosis. I’m still waiting for mine..6 years later. If my experiences can help you, please let me know! I’ve been there 🙂
On a positive note – I believe your positivity will help you through this – as will God. Some days are better than others and like you said – ALWAYS listen to your body, sometimes we try to push ourselves and we just can’t. Ill continue to pray you get real answers and your health back. You’re a fighter 🙂
Hi Natasha,
I love your blog. When I originally came across your Kane show blog, I was immediately drawn to the hilarious honesty of your stories. I love following Little Pink Monster and was sad to see your life take a downward turn. Glennon happens to be my cousin and when you mentioned reading her blog, I wasn’t too surprised—your blogs often remind me of each other. It’s very refreshing for 2 women to write so genuinely and openly in a world of so much phoniness. Keep your head up and keep your positive attitude! I enjoy these posts as much as the others. Prayers that you regain comfort and normality of your life.
Erin
Just found your site and love your diy projects. Reading your story reminded me of a very similar situation my husband experienced and i understand how painful, confusing, stressful it can be. My husband has very similar symptoms(gi issues, low fevers, joint pain,etc). After going to many doctors, we finally found an internal medicine doctor who was God sent and has guided us. He was diagnosed with RA and sjoregens. He is getting treated for it. However, in addition to his treatment, it turns out that he is allergic to sugar (which is in everything) and is also lactose intolerant. We have changed our diet and that has helped tons! Also, we take vitamin E,D, it hasa lot of great properties. Diet plays a big role as to how we feel. Anyways, email me if you have any questions.
Thank you so much Maria for sharing your husband’s story. Every single time I hear of someone else who has been through what I’m going through it not only makes me feel much better but it reaffirms that I’m not crazy! Or at least not concerning my health. (;
Your story has also confirmed it for me, I want to find a dietician or nutrionist who deals with auto-immune diseases to help…I really think it could make a difference.
Its been a long and stressful journey trying to make my husband feel better, so I can just imagine what you are going through. 🙁 Its not fun for sure. I really hope you find a good doctor who believes in your case. I would strongly suggest you find an internal medicine doctor. They can focus on you overall health and guide you through the other doctors as needed.
Good luck and I hope you have many pain free days!
Hi Natasha,
Please do not rule out lyme disease. I have been fighting it and have been on medication and I am truly much better than a year ago.
Keep fighting whatever it is.
Hugs
-Romina
I’m sitting here crying because I can so relate. I’m so sorry that you are in so much pain. It really stinks, doesn’t it. Luckily, my babies are all grown up, so I dont have that to worry about (well, I still worry about them, but not on what’s for dinner and are their clothes clean for school…..lol). It’s wonderful that you have a Rheumatologist that is TRYING to help. I have a primary care physician who either doesn’t understand my pain and difficulty, really impossibility, in walking at all; or doesn’t give a s**t. I am in a quandry about what to do. I don’t know how to find a new doctor who will care. I think part of the problem is that I am morbidly obese, and I think I get a lot of “she brought it on herself”, plus I just turned 66. Old, fat lady w/a problem. Who cares? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to be a pity party for myself. I meant for this to be supportive of you! I’ll keep my fingers crossed that they find the root cause quickly. I’ve had my pain for over 20 years. I will pray for you. I really do believe in the power of prayer.
with love,
Linda xoxo
I’m so sorry you’re hurting Linda, both inside & out. Please try and find a good doctor, they ARE out there & I truly believe it makes the difference between healing and continuing to suffer. I went through at least 8 doctors before I found one who really believed me and wanted to help. And you know what’s funny, they were all men who poo-poo’ed my symptoms & the only two women I’ve tried, my primary care & rheumatologist, have been not only sympathetic but also determined to get a solution. Of course I’m sure there are tons of male doctors who are absolutely fabulous, I’m just saying maybe it’s worth a try to see a woman…
Please don’t stop, 20 years is such a long time to spend in pain, I don’t want you to spend a single more…
I can’t thank you enough for this post and the timing of it. I am 8 1/2 months preggos dealing with some sciatic pain and it is really easy to get wrapped in my own pity party instead of looking at what is to come. Thank you truly!
Youre so welcome Stephanie and congrats on the baby! That last month can be brutal, hang in there, you’re so close!
Dear Natasha,
My name is Joe Pollack. I am a chiropractor in Rockville, Maryland. A friend of mine reads your blog and told me to check out your recent posts as she knows I treat a lot of people with chronic pain syndromes. I understand your frustration. Many of my patients have seen countless other medical professionals until they find me. My approach is unique in that I take as long as is necessary to delve into your symptoms and understand the underlying issues. I utilize a multifaceted treatment plan that includes gentle chiropractic adjustments, massage therapy, stretching, exercise, and dry needling acupuncture. In reading your past posts, your case has piqued my curiosity, and I wish to help you. Please feel free to call my office at (301) 217-0515 and set up an appointment at your convenience. Until then, stay strong.
Sincerely,
Joseph A. Pollack D.C.
Hi Joe, thank you so so much for your sweet offer. I just had surgery this week so I’m going to take a bit of time to heal up and then see where it takes me but I’m definitely going to keep your number, thank you for taking the time to comment & tell your friend I said thank you too!
lupus?
Hi Natasha one thing to remember is that even in the darkest of nights the sun will shine in the morning. Of course our diet and doctors can help in curing the ailments of our body, but God is the only one who knows us from the inside out without running tests on us. I cannot urge you enough to keep your Faith in Him. Five years ago I gave birth to a daughter with spina-bifida, told she would never walk and have learning disabilities. As my Pastor came to visit and saw the situation she was in, his only comment about her condition was that “she’s going to be fine”. In all honesty I threw a pity party for myself the first week of her life and questioned how “everything was going to be fine”. There was no one to share in what I was feeling, until I realized, I need to just start praying. I started changing the way I would address the deformity, instead of saying “her” catheter or “Gracies” braces, I changed it to “the”. I decided I would no longer associate it with her because I didn’t want her to reflect it. I would wake up at about 3 in the morning every day and just pray. Not always asking God for healing, because I had already asked for that, but giving Him thanks for the healing. 1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healED. I saw an instant healing in my daughter. After her first surgery she was unable to use the restroom on her own and to continuously have a catheter in place, when suddenly she was able to go on her own. I was so thankful to be able to change her first diaper. From then on, all the milestone the doctors and nurses said my daughter wouldn’t experience, I was seeing get accomplished with my own eyes. Now she is an intelligent, walking, peeing, 5 year old that dances everyday for the God that created her. What I learned in this journey with my daughter is that I have to always rely on Him. Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. My daughter also had issues with walking and she didn’t get off her knees until I got on mine. My advice to you is to read scriptures on healing, that way you’ll build up your hope and pray without ceasing. I’ll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.
That is so so powerful Evonne, thank you so much for sharing for the wonderful encouragement and inspiration. Really, really, inspiring. And a wonderful reminder of how I need to go back to my knees, every day. Thank you!
I do have fibro, it is miserable, but trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I had a two year flair up. I was miserable could barely walk, it was so bad I would throw up from the pain. I never thought I could have children because how would I raise one!? I now have a five month old daughter, and 90% of the time I feel good! I dont do any medication because I breastfeed. I do have bad days when the weather changes. I still have a limp. But it will eventually come and go. BUT big but, I really believe the fevers are caused from you still having lymes. It is very rare to kill it with just the antibiotics they claim can. Have you heard of Monolaurin? Ive heard that it really helps with Lymes.
Have you looked into chronic lyme disease? You should watch the movie Under Our Skin on Hulu.