They say it takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately now a days we don’t always get to raise our children with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins all down the street. There aren’t 3 generations of women each helping the younger to get through the tough years with more than just imparting their wisdom.
When I was young my great-grandfather picked me up from school everyday. Then he, my great-grandmother & I would all make the 10 minute drive down the road to visit their daughter, my grandmother. My cousins lived a handful of blocks away from there & we’d walk to each other’s houses & play. All of the older, retired generations chipping in to take care of the younger. Everyday.
It’s sad on some levels that this isn’t the world my daughters are being raised in but it’s not necessarily worse, it’s just different. We’ve adapted to a life where we’ve had to move for my husband’s job & extended family aren’t the ones who are chipping in, babysitters are.
It’s a different world today where kid’s don’t always stick around home after school. It’s not uncommon to take a job across the country. Then you meet someone, start a family & before you know it you’re in my situation. A mother, doing her best at the toughest job she’ll ever have, on her own. Actually, I take that back. I’m not on my own & neither are you. If you’ve been reading this blog for any extended amount of time then you know it’s more than just a place on the internet to post pretty pictures. It’s a community. We might not have a sister down the street but we’ve managed to create something else…online. It’s a friendship between strangers who might never meet but are helping each other just the same.
It’s the way we’ve adapted so we can do more than just survive.
I can completely understand why some people don’t get why I blog about such personal issues in my life. I can see how it could come across as embarrassing but I ask you to look further. Don’t just read my words, read the comments that follow. ‘Mommy blogs’ aren’t just a place for bored housewives to vent…they’re powerful communities of women who have found a way to survive by relating & bonding to other women who are in their same shoes. The medium might seem unconventional, even unnatural, but the results can’t be disputed. We are making a difference by sharing.
I firmly believe in what I’m doing here on LPM. Yes I write about frilly stuff like crafts or put up silly videos but it’s the posts about marriage being hard or my struggle with post partum depression that I hold dear. With each of those posts I’ve had a fear right before hitting the ‘publish’ button but afterwards that anxiety was blown to bits by the overwhelming amount of comments, emails & social networking messages I receive that scream that other women feel the same way & my ‘putting it out there’ made them feel like they weren’t alone. Like they had a friend.
This isn’t just a blog. It’s a relationship between people. Hiding what’s really going on in our lives because of modesty or fear of judgement just precipitates the problem of women feeling not good enough & isolating themselves. I refuse to be afraid of what I’m writing. Last night I re-read my archives & I don’t think one word of it shows anything but love & devotion to every member of my dear sweet family.
At it’s core this blog is also a family, the purpose is love for other human beings. I don’t write about my life because I want to be snarky or a gossip, I write to share because I believe it makes a difference.
I agree completely!! I have always wanted to personally let you know how amazing I think it is that you put it all out there and how extremely brave I think you are for it! I started a blog about 6 months ago but it’s been kept private only to me, basically an online journal to vent frustrations with current events in my life, however, lately I’ve been feeling the burden of making it public because it may help someone else to see it. Thank you for your bravery, I hope to someday have the same impact on someone else that you’ve had on me.
Think about it…it can be oh so rewarding which outweighs the fear (:
I agree. Having your blog and others like it along with community groups on sites like The Nest have helped make being home a little less lonely. These resources have also become the number one place I go to for advice or to bounce ideas off of other people.
Thank you for blogging! It means so much to so many of us!!!
I don’t usually comment but I read your blog often. I just wanted to thank you for putting it out there and being honest. I have 2 girls around the same age as you. I was pregnant with my second the same time you were and gave birth shortly after you. I can relate to so many things that you go through from kids being sick to a rough patch in my marriage. I think, in some way, reading your blog keeps me sane. I know I’m not the only person who goes through these things. So, I owe you a big thank you for being real and sharing your life.
I also love the fun posts too!
Thanks (: That’s exactly why I do it.
Love it!! Welcome to my Village, I say this all the time. I will village your child, just as I would hope you would village mine…..we all need help and this has definitely become a village for me. Thanks for being so open and so raw sometimes. I love your blog.
Amen and amen.
I love this. I love your blog. I love your perspective and I care about you. (If we met, I know i’d love you, too.) 🙂
sounds like you could use some cookies 🙂 check out my giveaway to win a dozen christian louboutin cookies here
i don’t often comment (in fact, i’m not sure i ever have), but i read every post, watch every video, and make many of your crafts. i relate, i empathize, and i appreciate all that you post here. i totally agree that i don’t know what i would have done without the internet when i was pregnant, and during those first highly uncertain months of parenting – now i like to tell myself that i’m only mildly uncertain.
even those of us who aren’t vocal in the comments are proud to be a part of this village!
I don’t comment often but I do really feel like this is a village effort. LPM is a family and we try to uplift and inspire each other…
I promise to try and uplift and inspire those in my day to day life like you guys uplift and inspire me.
Natasha,
I completely agree, after changing jobs (a terrifying experience after 11 years) to one where I spend most days at a computer working, I found myself gravitating close to so many blogs like LPM. I am thankful to you and so many others for inspiring me to start my own blog (or outlet for life’s daily occurrences). I consider myself lucky to be a part of this community and thanks to what you do and put out there everyday for us; I get to feel that as well. Thank you!!! 🙂 It is a tough thing sometimes to put yourself out there and express those feeling that most say we should “keep hidden”, but you are right afterwards; that is the best feeling!!!
Keep it all up!!!
I actually like it when people share – because those experiences, those feelings are what makes us HUMAN. I have never read anything snarky in your posts about personal challenges. You put it out there and hope that somebody can identify with you because why? Having somebody identify with you gives you hope that hey, somebody else is going through this and if we can both support each other, YAY!
You’re REAL. Which I love.
I so love the online community. It’s the only place you can find like minded parenting sometimes. Where I live everyone is huge on the cry-it-out method & I am completely opposed. Online I have found so many friends through the blogging realm & twitter realm who can encourage me to be the mom I want to be not the one the Suburbs is all about.
Though I sure could use some of that mom & grandma hanging around helping me figure this out. Mommyhood is tough & sanctifying.
Thank you! thank you for this blog and for sharing your life with all of us. Honestly, as a newly wed, it really helps to read some of your personal life blogs, and understand that theses blips in life aren’t something exclusive to me. And watching your kids, and seeing the pictures and videos and posts make me want to have my own kids. But then I get scared and back off again lol. But we love your honesty, and if this blog ever ended (not to sound selfish) i’m pretty sure id be sad for a while. And my husband will say “it’s just a blog” and i’ll say “you don’t understand! :'[” and he’d roll his eyes and laugh. And i’d keep being sad.
Honey, the only reason I even found out about your blog is because my facebook friends put up links to your “transparent people” blog. Raw as ever. Everyone loves someone who can be real and isn’t a coward. I respect you and I probably wouldn’t have kept reading if there wasn’t any depth to your writing. Make no apologies and be true to yourself. You are helping people. Trust that.
Tears in my eyes as I type this. I too grew up down the street from cousins and with in a 5 mile radius of my entire extended family of 30+ people. My cousins and sister were (and still are) my best friends & closest confidants. Having such a massive support system was absolutely invaluable. When you marry into the military right out of college we didn’t have the option to move back home to be surrounded by our families. Missing the birthdays, holidays and the everyday little occasions I always took for granted. I miss them so much sometimes it’s painful. I don’t regret moving to be with my husband, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Thank you for your posts, you say what most women are too embarrassed, ashamed our isolated to admit. Especially about marriage, depression and when life gets seemingly unbearable and overwhelming. That it’s ok to wallow in pity for a bit and go on a Nordstrom shoe spree or two… in my case sometimes more… but we’ve got to eventually pull our $hit together and figure it out, and when we do, we’re not alone.
Natasha,
I subscribe to your blog and read your posts every day. Sometimes after a long day of housework, kids, cooking, etc. it is your creativity, quirky sense of humor or blunt honesty that has brought a smile to my face and made life seem not so hard for a brief moment. You have made a difference to me and I appreciate what you do. Even though we are not friends or neighbors I feel a sense of community, just like you said. I feel that I have someone who knows exactly what I’m going through and understands completely. It is like I had 10 therapy sessions or a long talk with a close girlfriend all in the 5-10 minutes I take to read your posts. Thank you so much and keep up the awesome work!
PS sometimes I’ll find myself talking to my husband about you or the Kane Show gang like you’re my real friends. “OMG Sarah said this today” or “how cute is this mermaid dress that Natasha made Sam?!? So adorable!!”
This is absolutely a family, thanks for hosting our mildly dysfunctional, yet amazingly stylish Thanksgiving feast.
Amen sista!
I love you more and more with each blog. I’m in your situation as well, I moved across the country for my husbands job because I love him and I’m proud of him and I want his success to be our families success. But now with a little one and another on the way, I sure do wish I had my mommy and my sister and all our extended family. But I’m glad I at least have a place to read that I’m not alone. That no marriage is perfect, that we all struggle and we do the best we can. Our kids know we love them and so do our spouse’s, even wen we want to put their heads through the window (it’s out of love right). Thank you thank you thank you for putting yourself and your family out there. It’s truly a blessing. One of these days i’m going to trek back into Maryland from across the river and find you in target and give you a big hug!!
Aw, I look forward to that day!
Every blog you post about parenting, and your life struggles always seem to be on point to my current situations. I feels great to know that I’m not alone when it comes to feeling a certain way. I’m a single mom of a 16-month old, going to work and school full time- and its comforting to know that even though you have a little more help than I do, we have some similar struggles. I love your blog…keep up the great work.
I have only been blogging for a short time and have already felt very connected into this community! I love that you mention “it takes a village.” I feel absolutely that it takes a village but my immediate physical world (even though I have family nearby) is unwilling to help because they are tired from raising their children solely on their own. I am so glad to have the emotional support of the moms of the internet too!
This post really hit home with me, we are a military family, and I have been following you since I lived up in DC and listened to your husbands show (he is the BEST), I actually miss the long drives into the city and listening to his show. He would talk about you and when you were first having Sam, and you guys kept it so real, and it was so easy to relate to you.
It is hard being away from family and not having them to help with our kids. I too grew up going to my Great Grandma’s house, and always playing with my cousins. My kids barely even know their cousins, because they only see them twice a year. I love your blog, and check it every day as well as Little Blue Boo. You are awesome and keep on posting!!!!
I never comment, but I am a faithful reader of your blog. Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and words. Even though I *know* I’m not alone, I often feel that way. It’s tough being a stay-at-home mom (after having a stressful, high-demand job!) and not living near family or old friends. I’ve made new friends, but I envy my friends that can drop off their child(ren) at the grandparent’s house. Thank you for reminding me I’m not the only one living far away from loved ones!
I love reading your blog. Even though I am not a mom yet, I feel like I can relate to you so much!
You, my dear, are lovely. Inside and out 🙂
Also stay true to your self!
Thank you so much Natasha, for being real!! A few years ago, I really could have used this blog. My husband and I, were going through such a tough situation. We didn’t realize how tough marriage, kids, and real life could be.
But your posts, really inspire me. And honestly, lots of times, you post about topics, that I’ve really been thinking about. After you posted about your Easter, it got me thinking. I finally blogged about my husband and I’s difficult times. I did it, in hopes that it can give someone else, some confidence. And a little inspiration, that the rough patches, are just a phase. That there is hope, and life does get better. You inspired me to do that! Thank you, for making LPM a place, for us mommas to come to, and realize we’re not alone!!
http://maggiesheart.blogspot.com/2012/04/getting-real.html
Thank you so much Maggie, I’m so excited to go read your post now!
I can’t remember exactly how I came across your blog, but I was searcning for ideas for something or other. When I clicked over to this site I think the first post on the page was the ‘Mommy Pills’ one. THAT post was the reason I added your blog to my favourites!! I was in a similar situation on antidepressants with a young daughter and I related to it so much. It was just so nice to hear someone actually talk about it, not mumble very quietly “I’m on antidepressants”. I love that there is a little bit of everything, the personal, the frilly and all! I get very excited when I see there is a new post! Thank you for being so honest about everything and I look forward to reading about you and your family good or bad, happy or sad!!!!
Aw, thank you so much Jacinta, that means so much. Seriously, your comment made my day (: