I believe I remember a bible verse from my childhood that talks about how when you ask for forgiveness Jesus washes away your sins & makes you white as snow.
Actually, come to think of it, I think the snow part was Mary had a Little Lamb.
Well, I’m sure the message is still the same.
This morning was like too many mornings lately. I had a super short fuse with the girls. I start off good & patient but as the clock keeps ticking closer to the time when we need to get out the door for school, they keep dumping hair clips on the floor, messing around & basically being cute adorable baby girls who are driving me crazy. I end up snapping at them & then they start fighting, then we’re late & I find myself yelling at them to stop. I’m just worried that they’re going to grow up & look back at their childhood remembering me as being short-tempered. “Don’t piss off mom, she’ll freak out on you!” I want them to remember me as a patient, slow to anger, sweet & loving mother. I’m worried I’m not on that path right now.
Today my prayer is that God will change my natural fleshly inclinations to yell & snap. That might be the way that my brain is wired, perhaps I’m a little genetically predisposed, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change.
I pray that God changes me into the type of mom I want my girls to remember me as.
By the time we got to school I had some time to calm down & put things in perspective. I also had enough time for mommy guilt to set in.
When I was unbuckling Sam from her carseat I looked her in the eye & said, “I’m sorry Mommy yelled at you this morning. I’m sorry that I get mad sometimes. Will you forgive me?” As soon as I said that I thought to myself do 3 year olds even know what forgiveness means? But no sooner did she give me an eager “Uh-huh!” & the biggest hug with her arms tight around neck.
How natural it comes to her to forgive. Children desperately want to believe the best in their parents & if you throw them the tiniest bone of “hey I’ll be better” they’ll jump at it! That’s all they want. To believe the best in their mommies & daddies.
I’m going to try and give her that.
She believes in me, that’s the least I can do.
They will learn more about you in the moment of forgiveness than in the moment of anger. They will remember your humility…not the faux perfection. Good work mom!
I like that Izze. What a beautiful quote…
My 10 month old twins are definitely too young to understand what I’m saying, let alone a concept like forgiveness but I know that mommy guilt all too well. I snapped at baby W after he yanked his brother’s glasses down for the millionth time. He looked at me wide-eyed and his face absolutely crumbled into a crying mess. I felt so so so incredibly bad and I never want to see that look on my baby’s face ever again.
Learning forgiveness begins at home. Well lots begin at home. I’ve begun to believe my 3 year old know loads more about forgiveness than some adults I know.
I love hearing about moms who ask their kids for forgiveness. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
Found myself in that position today although I’m claiming sporadic insanity due to PMS…but even when that’s not the case, I find myself snapping harshly at my boys for one reason or another. I always used to think, “Well, they won’t remember this part of their lives..” but as Weston is nearing 4, I’m realizing this is not the case and have been actively trying to be sweeter as well as praying with all my might that God will give me more patience. It’s always the best feeling though when my kids come kiss me and hug on me 2 seconds after I loose it with them. Although once Weston looked at me and told me I needed to be a better mommy…got to love that honestly. :/
“Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow. Though they be red, like crimson, they shall be like wool”… I see where the Mary Had a Little Lamb confusion comes in. ;). It’s like a bible verse/ nursery rhyme mash-up. I am not sure what verse it is in the Bible; like so many I have memorized, it was a verse from a song I sang in church choir back in the day.
I find myself snappy and short tempered a lot; I try not to be too hard on myself, because I know it is pure exhaustion speaking… When I am well rested, I am so much more patient. But, how often is that? I have made a real effort to schedule more relaxing me time stuff… Massages are nice, but get pricey. Sometimes just a nap or a trip to Starbucks with a good book refuels me and helps me get back to my happy place.
LOLOLOL, it totally is a mash-up! Thanks for helping me clear it up (:
FYI, I googled it. It’s Isaiah 1:18. 🙂
A verse I am often comforted by…
“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” Psalm 51.7
Yay! So it wasn’t just mary has a little lamb that says ‘white as snow’! Thank you, I thought I remembered it completely wrong!
Children are amazing. When I find myself short tempered with our girls, I always cry later and apologize. It sucks to have them see my frustration or stress that has nothing to do with them. They always respond like Sam did for you and it humbles me.
Every new day, right? Every new day.
This is so sweet. I live in Minnesota but have become a religious reader of your blog after first listening to your hubby on iheartradio! After seeing all of the amazing things you do for your girls – the crafts, activities, outings, etc. – I can’t imagine that they will look back on their childhood and remember it as nothing but creative, fun, and they will LOVE that Mommy was home with them every day instead of them being shipped off to a stranger’s house 24/7.
I love your blog – you are adorable & so creative, thanks for your words as they impact people like me far away in Minnesota 🙂
This was so what I needed to hear right now. I have been so short fused with my girls lately. And then I immediately feel awful and beat myself up about it. And my oldest is four so I am very aware that she could be making memories. I found this quote awhile ago and have been reading it every morning. Its helped some…
“oh give me patience when wee little hands tug at me with their small demands. Give me gentle smiling eyes and keep my lips from hasty replies. And not let weariness, confusion or noise obscure my vision of life’s fleeting joys. So when in years to come and my house is still, no bitter memories its room may fill.”
PS I think its wonderful that you took the time to say sorry to her. Not only are you learning about forgiveness from her but shes learning about apologizing from you.
That’s a really beautiful quote, thanks so much for sharing!
“I pray that God changes me into the type of mom I want my girls to remember me as.” Change “girls” to “children” and that’s pretty much been my mantra all week. I’ve had lots of situations laying heavy on my heart lately and while it’s wearing me thin, I worry my own kids are getting the brunt of the side effects of my anxiety.
This is actually how I felt this morning!!! Its so hard sometimes but to know Im not the only one is nice to hear. When its all said and done I pray my kids remember me for always being there to kiss the boo boo’s and tto support them and the morning ritual will be forgotten,lol
Thought you’d enjoy this post that Jon Acuff wrote this morning about his daughter 🙂 Kids have a blessing about them of forgiveness and understanding.
http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2012/05/kids-get-the-gospel/
Love reading your blog!! <3
This is how I feel most days, it seems. Being alone with a three-year-old and a three-month-old for the whole day has been difficult for me, and each day I struggle with keeping my patience with my 3yo. Especially when he demands something right as the little one wakes up to eat, or he decides 6:30 am is an appropriate wake up time.
Anyway, I am forever a work in progress.
By the way, I have been a long time lurker, I really enjoy your crafts and meal ideas, but especially relate to your person entries. thanks 🙂
My mom was a stay at home while my dad worked for the Navy. I remember times when my sister and I (2 and a half years apart) would cause trouble and get yelled at; but, the times I remember more were her getting our snack out, telling us stories, singing, taking us to the grocery store and the park, and so many other fun things. Those may be the norm to a “parent” but the special moments you spend with your mom if she is able to stay at home with you are awesome. I’m 25 now, and when I’m a parent I hope I will be able to stay at home. I respect her so much more now that i’m older and understand and will hope to instill what she has for my sister and I into my own children. People make mistakes and if your child can understand; not even forgive but understand that you’re trying your best, then I think you’ve raised a pretty good kid.
I commend you, Natasha! We are SO bad at apologizing…we push and push our children to always apologize yet we refuse to follow our own “advice” and admit when we’re wrong. We can’t even apologize to one another as adults….it happens even less frequently when we make a mistake towards our children. We think just as you said, “Do they even understand?” They completely do…and they are so deserving of our apologies sometimes. I have always been acutely aware and afraid of this, and I try SO hard to always go to my little girl and apologize to her if I’ve let her down in any way, or if I’ve set a bad example for her. We ask so much of them….it’s the least we can do to make sure they see us do the same. Good job, Mama, for being big enough to understand that while yes, she’s little, she still deserves to be treated like she has feelings, because she does 🙂
I could have written this post…to a T. I can’t believe how much mommy guilt gets to me. Luckily we both have 2 sweet girls who love us no matter what mood we are in. I am slowly learning to bite my tongue and try not to snap, but it happens!! Great post today…made me feel better to know I am not alone in the impatient mom world.
Thanks for sharing this! Something that is easier to remember some times than others. Gosh, you are so darn relatable! I love everything about this blog; I feel like we’re friends 🙂
Yay! That’s my intention. I want it to be like a chat between girlfriends. Thank you, best compliment!
You’re very welcome; thank YOU!! And I’m glad you took that as a compliment and not in a creepy way. I debated how stalker-y it was going to sound, haha.
Natasha, thank you for posting this and letting me know that I’m not ALONE! My two are the almost the same ages as yours and two under 3 is HARD. I understand wanting forgiveness and for the the Lord to bestow patience upon you – but also give yourserlf some credit becaues you are a good mom.. and He knows that.. and so do Soph and Sam too! Stay in prayer and you will see good things to come! Thank you for the wonderful post!
I feel your pain. I went through a rough time with my son (when he was 6 or 7) and it was destroying our relationship. One thing that helped was that I decided for one week (just one week) to not yell at my son. I had a few people praying for me during this time, but I did it. With LOTS of prayer on my part. I have, of course, lost my temper since then, but it really healed our relationship!